Amarantine
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An extremely potent Irish beverage.
Contents |
[edit] Etymology
From the Gaelic Aurènmané, whose meaning is variously given as 'Deep purple' or else as 'Indestructible, everlasting, like heavy rock.'
[edit] Origin
Originally developed as a fuel for a range of small but extremely powerful internal-combustion engines.
A substantial order is regularly placed by the Doci.
[edit] Ingredients
The base constituent of Amarantine is fermented and distilled beetroot. This gives it its deep reddish-purple colour. To this is added a small quantity of shamrock juice and a number of other 'undisclosed' components.
[edit] Appearance
Lighter in colour and style than the more widely-known Guinness, Amarantine nevertheless has an even greater potency. With an alcohol content of around 140% it is hydrophoric on contact with Irish air, and must be treated with great respect. Its use as a paint stripper (although highly effective) is not recommended owing to the fire risk.
[edit] Manufacture
The brewing and subsequent distillation of Amarantine is carried-out almost exclusively in Irish castles. These castles are typically equipped with a secret 'priest hole' in which the still is located, plus the usual defensive measures of portcullis, drawbridge, Moat with crocodiles, molten lead, AN/MPQ-65, cannon and archers. These defenses serve to keep excisemen such as rival bard Robert Burns from commandeering the brew for their own use.
The majority of such castles being in the ownership of one person, the enterprising warrior-poet known in Gaelic as Ethel ni Brunnen-G (aka Enya) places the Amarantine trade squarely in private hands. There are however plans to commence manufacture at a number of European locations having suitable defensive fortifications.
[edit] Export Trade
It is noted that Amarantine is very rarely seen in shops outside of the Republic of Ireland. This is because, like the Scots with their malt whisky, the Irish keep most of the decent stuff for their own use. So there.
[edit] Effects
Typical effects of Amarantine consumption include:
Beaming smiles.
Rolling of the eyes in highly expressive manner.
A feeling of indescribable love for all of your acquaintances. Yes, all of them.
A tendency to burst into song. Vocals will typically extol the concept of 'love' - or may consist of the name of the beverage itself, repeated several times in an ecstatic tone.
[edit] Overdose
Overdoses rarely have medical complications, other than that of pregnancy. Because of this possibility the drinker is advised to wear long, loose fitting clothes as opposed to any kind of tight-fitting garment. In terms of the effects of an ovedose, the subject will exhibit all of the above conditions, plus:
Ability to see and interact with energy beings, such as those discovered on P3X-935.
Your clothing entwining itself around the local vegetation. This requires that you keep walking at all times, to avoid getting entangled.
Indestructibility. This condition of immunity to damage inspires the subject to perform otherwise-risky actions such as walking along a cliff-edge whilst gazing steadfastly at the stars. In this context it is rumoured that Capt. Scarlet may be an Amarantine user.
[edit] After-effects
None.
That I can remember.
[edit] References
Manufacturer's promotional material
Manufacturer's Personal Homepage
- ni is Gaelic for of the. In this case it is also an honorific title pertaining to the Knights' Order of the Python Garter to which Ethel ni Brunnen-G belongs.
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