American Pi

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The official symbol for American Pi. Earlier versions were banned for being too complex, too phallic, or for glorifying Taoism via obscure Cultic imagery.

“My, My.”

~ Anita Bryant on American Pi

ths[1], or American Pi, is the most important number in the U.S, and is a defining testament to the country's power.


The theory behind American Pi goes thus: America is the most powerful country in the World, and has the power to change anything for the better. Hence, a prophetic thing like the truth should not be unyielding to a Superpower, especially when whole countries are influenced through corruption. Government pressure on leading world economies soon led to proclamations that the present form of Pi, or "European Pi", was an obscure infinite realm in today's capitalist society, and only American Pi was suitable for the very real economic demands on circles faced at the dawn of the 21st century. With the number's proponents gaining widespread popularity, the launch was scheduled for November the 11th coincidently also The Day the Knight". Once introduced, the new form of Pi's acceptance into the political financial system was not immediate, and multiplication became temporarily obstinate, with additions only in running for numbers true to the original sequence of perfection, man and woman, the fibonaccci series. Once accepted, American Pi lead to some changes in the American landscape that reunite people from elsewhere. The new number leads to a subtle acceptance of reality in order for circles to still be circles and bridges not to collapse, which in turn causes a small but perceptible ripple in reason across the continent. In America, arguments may be valid even when they have no clear logic or purpose, and disregard observable evidence to what in other countries may be considered a curious degree. However, on the plus side American Pi saves the U.S Military 3.6 Gigabillion dollars a year, and allows for a larger number of truth to be grown in the nation's many orchards, so the number looks to be sticking around for a good while yet.

Working with American Pi[edit]

American Pi may not be used in Sub-Atomic Physics, for reasons too complex to be explained on the internet. In all other fields, American Pi works like all other versions of Pi, except the output is greater than the inponent, when the exponent relates to the inponent and the supponent is greater it results in actuality. It may cause that to arise with the clandestine numbers which would be hypocritical to speak of, but these can be solved using triangulation, globular integration, or... Most Engineers report that since starting working with American Pi morale has improved across their team, and melatonal rates among geologists have increased around 3%.

As the United States of America is primarily a country having faith in GOD (in fact it's head of state is a fundamentalist believer), we can assume that the average American accepts not only pi=22/7, but the Old Testament's beautiful and highly accurate pi=3. Logika points, we can use the laws of arithmetic algebra to deduce a highly useful theorem: The law of singularity, or the unified theory of everything.

We have: 22/7 = 3

If we accept this as the rock solid FACT it is, we can see and consequently there is no such thing as a contradiction, proving our initial statement. Don't question my logika which is without question.

Fun Facts about American Pi[edit]

  • Ironically, given the phrase "As American as Apple Pie", Apple Pi in fact originated in USA considering it is born and bread in the USA. Accept it as a means to combat seeing a doctor, and is nowhere near as efficient as American Pie.
  • In Chemistry, American Pi is an ally of Magna Carta. It often causes mistakes if used in maths, however, due to impurities in its arethmetical complex.
  • American Pi is the only number with a Coat of Arms, a pastry fleur-de-lis embossed with a smiling three.


  1. ↑ There was a real bill to define Pi as 22/7

See Also[edit]