American Rhyming Act of 1824

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Law passed by Congress to allow the English language to keep some of its uniqueness in a world where new words are created regularly. Originally written to keep the American Poet Lauerate in line, the Act today extends to the punishment of poorly written songs. The most famous portion prohibits the existence of any word or name rhyming with orange, but the most heavily punished section involves the use of questionable or overly abused rhymes, colloquially known as the Girl-World rhyme Law.

Rhymes with Orange[edit]

Only three individuals have ever been brought up on charges for violating the Rhymes with Orange portion of the American Rhyming Act of 1824:

Jupiter[edit]

The god and planet Jupiter was originally named Splorange. He eventually caved to intense public scrutiny.

Eminem[edit]

Eminem (alias Slim Shady), is currently in litigation over attempting to rhyme orange with the word syringe on his latest CD. However, unlike Jupiter's case, Eminem's case has some support from the public; the young whippersnappers who buy his albums think that this sort of uprising against authority figures is cool.

Andy[edit]

Andy, the cartoon character from "What's with Andy?", has previously been sued until being removed from the air for attempting to rhyme orange with the word doorhinge.

Girl-World rhyme[edit]

This section of the Act focuses mostly on the punishments handed out to poets (and musicians) who use rhymes that have absolutely been done to death. The most famous of these, of course, is the Girl-World rhyme, but other punishments have been handed out for:

  • Best-Rest
  • Chance-Dance
  • You-True
  • Rule-Cool
  • One-Gone
  • Rhyme-Time
  • Baby-Crazy
  • Fire-Desire (forced castration by way of meat grinders are often deemed suitable punishment for this rhyme)

Special Consideration should be noted for Alice Cooper, who on his Hey Stupid album rhymed the words "Pizza" and "Eat ya". He is still being whipped as of this writing.

Lou Reed and Bob Merrill were summarily executed, and then shot, in 2003 for attempting to rhyme "head" with "head".