Amsa

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Over View

The Advanced Math and Science Academy, the great and most advanced school in the galaxy.It's mission is to be smart and commit suicide and allow the F kids to fail and the A kids to get A+'s(this is so true). A cover up for Anthrax and Missile Sector of Afghanistan has infiltrated the heart of America. Its headquarters in Marlborough Massachusetts has already drafted hundreds of slaves to their cause. They are teaching them to be able to operate their very advanced targeting systems. Although the building in Marlborough is only a training facility, the building is well-guarded. It has heavy artillery, Ground-to-Air anti-aircraft missiles, sniper positions, a small tank factory, and one underground nuclear missile silo all hidden in and around the building. AMSA is currently expanding to a new building across the parking lot, although some of the previous tenants have decided that they want to stay. The new building will feature highly advanced courses including, Jihad 101, Al Qaeda teachings, and suicide bombings. AMSA is also building a "sports facility" next door where the "students" will learn many things including, but not limited to, target practice, advanced stealth attacks and mass genocide. Recently, AMSA has been investigated by many government officials so AMSA has slowed attention to themselves by lessening the number of allowed new students. The government was notified of AMSA's actions by an an anonymous tip, which I, um, had nothing to do with. Currently, many students have begun to form together to create a rebellion to fight against several of the teachers, including the chemistry teacher(Mr. Mcdoogle), the math teacher(Mr. Sweeney and company), and the Geometry teacher(Mr. Berti). Many of the teachers are Russian or eastern European conscripts hired by Afghanistan to torture small children into operating advanced nuclear targeting systems.

The Current Situation

In an recent undercover investigation it has been revealed that the "school's" supposed founder, Julia Sigalovsky, may actually be married to the well known terrorist, Osama Bin Ladin. Daniel Zigalobster, a.k.a Pinocchio, may be the next heir to the Al-Qaeda organization. It has also has been discovered that the secretive forth floor of the main building is the hiding place of the terrorist. In addition, it is believed that there may be terrorist plots being constructed in some sort of weekly “leadership meeting” for the older “students”. A new plan to blow up the state house of Massachusetts has been discovered, and will be put into action as soon as they can get real jobs so that they can get money in order to buy the needed supplies. One of the teachers (he is only known as Mr. K and he will make you cry!) has decided that all of the students should become prostitutes in order to to be able to pay for the plastic explosive and the new nuclear technology. However, the only customers so far has been him and Mr. Ploss. Mr. K's wife, on the other hand was a long time anti-terrorist. Mr. K has then decided to have her assassinated, but could not afford a sniper rifle so therefore used a picture frame.!!! LOOK!! WHEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!(written by the bloofster, or Osama bin ladin YAY!!! BLOOF WILL KILL YOU ALL HELP ME SHE"S WATCHING!!!!!!! BLOOF

School sports

In addition to teaching Jihad and Suicide bombing 101, they also have a few other key sports. These sports include, but are not limited to, cactus humping, and mass genocide. Sports Equipment includes Mr.Ayres the Omnikin ball, and the pig eliphant a Macyver based bomb for Jihad 101, and Dr.Labranche as the man-eating Bird tamer. The two main leaders of the "School Sports" are General Brooker and Private Albercurque, who may be the only non-foregin teachers of the school.

The 'Delightful' Teachers and Staff

Let us all not forget the peculiar, strange, yet interesting teachers at AMSA. There is the school guru, second to only Nostradamus himself, the Meditating Mr. Ploss. He believes statues are real! Freaky. Mr.ploss gives way too much work . And did you know most of the teachers are foreign so they are hard to understand! Let's not forget the ultimate crybaby, ms.Jain the de teacher! The evil baby teaches the students nonsense! Since he has been practising over the many vacation days that are given to the "Students" he was recently reported being able to levitate and hum at the same time. His now preffered way of transportation, is to be flying around the halls of the School. There is also the Dean of Students, Mr. Pare. He is known to be drilling people about certain "Baloney", the subject that he is apparently in love with. The major question that remains, is that wether he just likes the subject, or did eating it 'inspire' him. Another interseting teacher is Dr.LaBitch, a.k.a Dr.leBird under the alias of Dr.Labranche. She is a nasty bitch who is well-known for her control over birds. She rules the class of Harvard(a.k.a 9E) with an iron feathered fist. She is known for being a bitch to everyone, especially to Issac,Tyler, and Alex. she teaches Biology, and therefore uses her knowlege of Humans to further tourcher them(she doesn't count). Also there is Mrs.Saint-Gorilla, a gorilla escaped from London Zoo. She is an incompetent Computer science teacher who is unable to teach for her life. A most deadly teacher is Mr.Noble, a force to be reconed with. His ability: to make craploads of Shit that can kill you in another bathroom. he is a formatable foe, who is also the rumored father of Malato Chocalato. There was Dr.Cushing, who was only gifted with the power to live before the dinosaurs. He was just a drug-dealer who thought Luke Lee was sniffing drugs that were disgised as red pepper(Gee that would explain a lot!). He then "retired" from Amsa, but was probably terminated for his inablity to sell enough drugs to fund the terrorist operations. there is also Mr.Saga Sha, ho canot spel fo hs lif. he probbale rote tis pat of thee pagge. Mrs, Jagielsky, probobly one of the only anti-terrorist teachers in school, has super powers. The pitch of her voice is extremely high, making it impossible for stodents in the class to pay attention to the plants that she is showing her classes. Instead these poor, deranged students have been reported to come out of her class with ears bleeding. Mrs. Sivilosky, AKA The polar bear of AMSA, has been moved down a whole notch, she is now handling the trade of illegal material and the "Fund-Raising" for the school. This is pretty pathetic because if you get fired from the "School" that you created you must have to be a pretty sad little creature. Of course, her husband, Osama bin Ladin is outraged and he is threatening to suicide bomb the school. Luckily he obviously does not have any bombs, since his wife can't bargain for beans, these are empty threats.


Behind The Scenes

Dr.s and husband Osama Bin Laden, have cleverly disguised their underground tunnel under Forest Street used for trafficing their illegal weapons and drugs to the local russian math mafia as sewage and drainage pipe construction for thier "sports facilities". Without the leading members of the russian math mafia(A.K.A. RMM) Dr. S, Osama and Mr. K, keeping the opposition of AMSA quiet; AMSA could have never strived to level of communism it has currnetly achieved.

Although Many A' Kid who have attended AMSA have been threatened by Mr.Buchmann (A.K.A Commadant Bullshiter)to be strapped to the previously fired teachers and blown apart. Certain students whose names I am disclaimed to mention, devised a plan so cleaver to steel three Lbs. of C4 and Crack Cocaine (or 9F's ritalin supply). When Commadant Bullshitter got wind of this he "ingeniously" locked the students lockers with parts found at the local Home Depot. However he realized that he had trained his little minions too well, and they were able to remove the so called locks.

The facts are not well know but there are accounts of Mr. Pare (A.K.A. Explosive moron) has beaten and harrased the team members of baskettball team so much so that the kids can not remotly function any longer. The Explosive moron has been well known to obnoxiously scream at the players untill his veins in his neck and head explode.

A ban has also been placed on bathroom breaks and bubbler breaks to ensure that no child escapes from their confinement in the classroom. This ban was placed after three students were found trying to dig their way out of the school with plastic spoons to avoid going to the detention cell where expirimental drugs are tested on them. These three students were then disposed of in the construction cite after the drugs caused them to become fataly ill with the same disease that caused the Black Plague. Mr.K likes to take it hard up the ass!!!

With the profits brought in by the C4 and Crack Cocaine, AMSA can now easily afford to pay two Executive Directors. One being the former Dr. S who will be in charge of marketing the C4 and crack Cocaine, and building/improving the relations with the RMM. The seccond Executive Director is a Former two star Admrill who has great experience with artillary and allegedly has recent experience with crack cocaine (have you seen her smile?!?!?) Admrill McGann will be overseeing the manafacturing and deployment of the merchandise.