Anal sex
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“Not my cup of tea, but then again, I don't drink tea...*wink*”
~ Oscar Wilde on Anal Sex
“...Also commonly known as BUTT FUCK!!!”
~ Tourette's Guy on Anal Sex
“Extremely pleasurable for both parties involved.”
~ Captain Obvious on Opposite day
Anal sex is the best form of birth control, while you can still get busy without getting preged. So go party.you can also get your dick covered in your partner's crap and have it smell when he lets it rip.
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[edit] Anal Sex in culture
Anal sex has played a key role in many movies and films. In the uncut version of 'Ben Hur', audiences learned for the first time that the real reason for all that biz between Charlton Heston and the Roman chappie was that the latter had a hard on for him. Which is somewhat of a shame as the plot makes little sense otherwise. Also, two words: BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN
It is little known that anal sex was discovered by a young married couple in Kansas who not having received any instruction in sex before marriage had been confused as to the holes. When this result was published in the American Journal of Medicine the global homosexual conspiracy, amazed they had not thought of it, conducted a major conspiracy to claim that it had been used by man and man sex for centuries, even altering greek vases that showed men with sacks on their backs into men fucking boys.
Before this time gay activity had only concerned shopping for antiques.
[edit] Anal Sex in History
Greeks often had anal sex but no sense of sexual orientation. The lower classes of the Greek culture normally took it in the ass from the high ranking warrior classes and nobles (What we normally would call "queers"). They were deemed "sperm dumpsters" a name later adopted by the Jonas Brothers before making it big.
Benjamin Franklin was a huge advocate of anal sex as well... From his auto-biography:
"I love to butt fuck fat women, I can pretend they are men and think about how great I am for disowning my son. Nothing makes me happier than the smell of my brown member... If you are still reading my auto-biography after all of this and you have a shred of respect for me then you are truly a retard. Now I will push a drunk person off a boat."
Anne Bradstreet, one of the first great female American poets, also made allusions to anal sex in some of her classic poems. Her ability to tie anal sex in with the various conditions of the 18th century shows the woman's great potential in literature. This excerpt is from her one of her last writings, "The Current Plight of Africans and Women in America"
[edit] Having Anal Sex?
While most people find anal sex pleasurable (All Professional Wrestlers, Elton John, Freddie Mercury, Boy George, You, Jim Davidson and Richard Simmons for example), some do not (about .3145% of the human population). While most people who do not enjoy it try to avoid it, there are always those situations where anal sex is forced upon you, "shoved up your ass" or if you will, also known as rape. If you are caught in one of these often awkward and unpleasant situations there are some things you can do to take away the effects. You can try to enjoy it, scream like you are Whitney Houston and hope somebody hears you, that is if you don't have your rape whistle, or grin and bear it until it's over. The people who often enjoy anal sex are disgruntled men in their late 50's suffering from the after effects of sniffing glue, clowns, horny chihuahuas and homophobes.
[edit] Songs that refer to Anal Sex.
- Lil Wayne - Alphabet Bitches
- Rolling Stones - Let it Bleed and Brown Sugar
- The Presets - This Boy's in Love
- Boy George - Do You Really Want to Hurt Me
- George Michael - Any song in his discography
- Queen - Fat Bottomed Girls
- Cliff Richard - Mistletoe and Wine
- Filter - Hey Man, Nice Shot
- Color Me Badd - I Wanna Sex You Up
- My Chemical Romance - You know what they do to guys like us in prison [it's a real song, really, go look it up, it's about getting raped in prison]
- The Jonas Brothers - Fuck Me in The Ass
- S.O.A.D.D. (System of Aggressive Dumbass Deterioration) - Prison
SongRape - Devo - Smart Patrol / Mr. DNA
- Bette Midler - The Rose
- Guns N` Roses - Welcome to the Jungle
- Paul McCartney and Wings - Mull of Kintyre
[edit] Conception, Possible?
Most scientists, state that conception through butt-fucking is impossible, however the existence of Certain people has put this into doubt.
Use as a way to cheer up a man after you have done something to anger or disappoint him
a tool a woman can use to make her man happy. very enjoyable for both parties especially if the woman is lying on her side and has a vibrator handy. almost always works.
