Arachnism
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Arachnism (Often misspelled as Anarchism.) is a political theory that desires to form a society based on spider-behaviour. It is often accused of being a religious cult.
Tenets of Arachnism include, but are not necessarily limited to:
- Agriculture should be based on trapping wildlife and turning their internal organs into a digestible goo.
- People should wear rigid costumes resembling exoskeletons.
- After or before intercourse, women should be free to eat the man if she so desires.
- Furthermore, cannibalism is accepted, if not endorsed.
- Parents shouldn't have to take care of their children.
- Houses should be replaced with highly flammable and tearable webs.
- Constant use of methamphetamines so one can feel thousands of invisible spiders crawling all over themselves.
For unclear reasons, practical Arachnism has not been very successful, if at all.
[edit] Known Arachnists
The founder of this ideology was Piotr Kroparker (Пиотр Кропарκер) more commonly known among friends as "Spiderman" (note: his name is often transliterated in the west as "Peter Parker". Famous arachnists include, but are not necessarily limited to Hillary Clinton and her lover George Washington (deceased). Both stood for radical Arachnid freedoms and giving their lying partner's asses a good hard spanking, consistent with arachnid beliefs.
[edit] Famous Activists
It is with deep regret that Mr. Hugh G. Spyder is no longer with us. Lifelong troubled by an overanimated imagination and a distaste for employment, his faculties finally fled, abandoning him altogether to his own voices, and he took to roaming the country-side, howling like a banshee wolf with piles being administered an enema from somebody who did not like her, seeking out spiders to bite.
Things finally came to such a pass that no eight-legged critter could move out of doors by day or by night within a wide circumambience of his town. As a result, the Environmental Protection people had him put down. His immortal motto was Arachnists Lure!
