Anderson Cooper
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Anderson Cooper has his own talk show on CNN, called Anderson Cooper 360. The show is so named because it is aired 360 days a year. He is the only television news anchor under the age of 40 who has grey hair. This is most likely attributable to the, "Anna Nicole Smith Rule," which simply states that, "for every time that you mention Anna Nicole Smith on national television, one of your hair follicles turns grey."
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[edit] Anderson Cooper facts
- He is NOT a man
- He prefers black guys.
- Anderson Cooper is a clone of Bill O'Reilly. Really. I mean, look at them.
- Anderson Cooper uses his 'Platinum Shine' effect to attract his target audience: people attracted to shiny things. Once caught in the light, his audience bows down, puts down their chips and beer, only to be serenaded with trivial crap reporting.
- Ironically, his pubes are jet black, according to Lou Dobbs.
- Andersoon Cooper once met Solid Snake and teamed up with Mr. T to create Metal Gear Cooper. Eventually Solid Snake teamed up with way too many links to form Metal Gear Metal and defeated Metal Gear Cooper. Now Snake and Anderson regularly meet to play Halo with your mom.
- Created the hit TV show "Hangin' With Mr. Cooper."
- Portrayed Winnie Cooper's confused older brother Chuck on "The Wonder Years", and left the show after two episodes to set prime-time cable television on fire.
[edit] Origins of Anderson Cooper
The origins of the Platinum Shine are not known, but it is rumored that Anderson went to Mount Olympus where he met with Zeus and after months of smoking unfiltered cigarettes his hair suddenly became powerful. It took Cooper 3 years in a deep fryer to gain control over his new powers. Now he can summon them at will, and control all who stands before him.
[edit] Anderson Cooper minion
Joining Cooper is a little half-boy half-horse named AaronewtBrown, who unlike Cooper, shows much emotion when times are bad. Poor AaronewtBrown is constantly crying like a baby, only to have Anderson Cooper save the day.
[edit] Enemies
Togeather Cooper and AaronewtBrown take on the evil Lou Daedaliusobbs and his evil cat Dildo. Lou Daedaliusobbs, bent on making america a white utopian state, ironically can only be stopped by the white shine of Anderson Cooper.
Other villians Cooper and AaronewtBrown defend us against include:
[edit] See also
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