Andrzej Lepper

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search
Andrzej Lepper cannot believe his eyes: he has just appeared in Uncyclopedia!

Andrzej Lepper - most tanned Polish politician. His wife is the sexy but a little odd looking Renata Beger. In 1854 he met with members of the Taliban in Klewki (a small village near you) to sell them anthrax.

The history of Andrzej Lepper begins in the early centuries of the 4th millennium, when agriculture was the most important part of education and industry. One day he found a book, and though he was not especially bright in reading, he quickly discovered that it was about some fabulous gay-boy named Harry Potter. It changed the mind of Andrzej Lepper and brought him to idea that "Balcerowicz musi odejść!" (Balcerowicz must leave! - although his wife claims it is 'Balcerowicz must go on!' - and this is how he says it on international speeches). So then he immediately decided to use one of time machines and move to the 21-st century Poland to save his country from Balcerowicz the Taliban. Andrew likes only gay men and chocolate salty balls. Before he came to 21-st century, he had painted his hair and had been going on solarium.

Lepper became an President of Poland for three times, but in 2017 Poland was attacked by Bush who mischecked Czechoslovakia with Iraq and Lepper was forced to resign. Only God knows where he is now.

"All your base are belong to us!"


Recently the societies of Great Britain and Estonia applied for an ability to loan Andrzej Lepper for a month or two. However the President of Poland refrains from sharing such a noble citizen and thoughtful philosopher with those hardly civilised countries. The summit meeting about the issue is to be held on a Wednesday. Unless it rains, of course.

Ranked 27 on New Yorg Times "100 Most Dangerously Beautifull People" list.



Goat Father[edit]

Andrzej - through numerous interviews - stated that he had no fear of goats whatsoever ("ja się proszę pana kóz bać nie mam zamiaru, nie będę i nie boję" - eng "sire, i shall not yield nor surrender to a mere goat"). Furthermore, he stated that because he is a 1/3 goat GoatPole himself he would have no concerns over being married to a goat, nor would he refuse a nice tasty goat soup.

As of 2007-22-22 goats still disagree.

Absolute Mother of Creation[edit]

Andrzej Lepper is in fact the Absolute Mother of Creation, and is responsible for everything good, beautifull and shiny in this world. Any evidence of him being an avid skull crashing, spine ripping Amica Wronki fan is purely coincidential and has been dismissed by Supreme Court, God and WC Picker himself.

Das Boot controversy[edit]

One of the most prevailing urban legends about Andrzej Lepper is that he was the superhero that saved Titanic from being destroyed by an Australian submarine. Extensive historic research indicates that, in fact, Titanic Destroyed Australia while trying to save Andrzej Lepper. Also, Titanic`s brother, Andrzej Urban is often the main target of vicious, unfair assaults by Urban Legends Generators (ULG) such as Submarine or Austarila.

Non-Breathing protest[edit]

Between 1999 and 1999 Andrzej did not breathe. Reasons behind this wierd, funny yet warm and quite pleasingly round protest remain unknown. Artist Currently Known As Prince confirmed, that his "1999" album has absolutely no relation to this fact, but it`s always cool to relate to Artist Currently Known As Prince in a biography, so here you go.


After Angus Young decided to call it a day and went into the mountains with just a rope and a Bible, Andrzej Lepper took the lead guitar duties and is currently touring with folk-funk legends AC/DC as a permament member.

Fans consider it a really, really good joke.

Adam Mickiewicz Fiasco[edit]

W 1854 Andrzej Lepper was the leader of a special Polish Ninja Infantry unit sent to retrive Adam Mickiewicz from his isolated Dublin Fortress. Durning the assault it became quite apparent that Mickiewicz, while being a famous Irish haiku poet is also a Digitally Remastered incarnation of Adam Mickiewicz, Adam Mickiewicz`s brother and also - at the same time - his own Father (Adam Mickiewicz). In the final battle between the two Mickiewicz received a deadly stroke in his left wing and, moments before his death, mumbled his last poem, dedicated to Andrzej:

"Such beauty, such mindless, come embrace me, oh, Darkness Dweller."

In Response Andrzej wrote "Ugly bit***s get notin`" on his second G-Unit Release "locked and ready".



Between 1970 and 1980 Andrzej Lepper stood still and generated food from air. A lot of food. Tasty goods created by Andrzej were responsible for ending the World Hunger. 60.000 people died from suffocation. Oh, well.

2000 - 2007[edit]


Andrzej Lepper gave birth to World Democracy. As of 2007-07-20 he is yet to collect his payment.


After 400 years of struggle with Peace Loving Small Women The Pankracy Cat (full version of the Democracy demo version) has been finally released by Andrzej. It is a nice Cat. Really.

See also[edit]

Polish people, who are Satan's and Tamia's friends
Politics: Andrzej Lepper, Lech Kaczyński alias Kaczor, Lech Wałęsa

Religious figures: Father Director Teddy Rydzyk
Others: Grzegorz Rasiak