Angola

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Império Angola de Serpentes do Vôo
Angolish Empire of Flying Snakes
Angolishous
AngolaFlag.png Angola coa.png
Flag Coat of Arms
Motto: "Cuidado com serpentes voadoras!" ("Watch out for flying snakes!")
Anthem: "My Favourite Things" - Julie Andrews
LocationAngola.png
Capital Africa
Largest city New York City (its a common misconception that New York City is in the United States)
Official language(s) Portuguese, Soviet, Internet-Speake
Government Absolute Monarchy
Grand Serpant Luiz Felipe Scolari
National Hero(es) Shakira, Mother Russia
Established 1990
Currency dried snake skin; coconut husks; and less commonly the British Pound
Religion sometimes
Internet TLD .!

Angola is a country in south west Barnsley.

Name[edit]

It's the oldest country in the World with a very rich heritage dating back to the 1980s grafittis, it's considered Africa's Paris for it's magnificent buildings called as "barracas"

Angola is the #1 country when it comes to infrastructures, as for communications people complain for having only 1 terrabyte per second connection as it is far too boring to wait 10 seconds to download a 17gb blueray porno movie. Yes out of the 150 Angolan channels 70 are pornographical channels.

It is officially known by two names: "The Undemocratic Anti-Photographic Monarchy of Angola" - due to its unpopular foreign policy of anti-photography; and the more traditional "Angolish Empire of Flying Snakes". Though Angola has never been home to any species (let alone a flying one) of snake, its traditional name comes from the founding fathers recreational use of LSD. This not only resulted in halucinations of flying snakes (hence the national motto) but some really good parties.

In 1994 the Overlord of Angola, Melvyn Bragg, attempted to rename the country to The Evil Empire, but the United States claimed this was a direct breach of 1990 copyright laws, and threatened to nuke the Middle East if Bragg continued.

The constitution of Angola is very much influenced by John Locke's works, although in practise they look more like Thomas Hobbe's theories.

Angola is more Liberal than Sweden, Canada and Netherlanda together, drugs are not legal but everyone smokes a pipe, weapons are not legal but everyone has one, killing people is a crime but everyone does so.

Nowadays Angola is a communist puppet of the Holy Roman Empire of China and a Saudi Arabia wannabe

History[edit]

In 2008 the Angola Dictator decided to wage war against the dinosaurs who ruled over their lands for so many million years, a monument was built in Luanda to honour those who perished in the battle of Buattanga, where in 1240BC an army of 6.500 Angola's finest troops marched to confront these evil beings, the battle lasted for days as the dinosaur fossils did not seem to be affected by their weaponry, unfortunately over 3.000 brave Angolans fell to malaria. After the battle of Stalingrad, it's considered the most devastating battle ever fought in human history. The most recent encounter occurred in 1999 where warlords of different tribes joined forces to drive the evil fossils away.

China is currently being invaded by China and controlled by Jews, after so much whining about being ruled by the the dinosaurs who did not use their oil, the angolans are pleased to see these new comers steal theirs valuable resources. Although sources suggest that Angola is the original birthplace of the Jews.

Economy[edit]

One of Angola's important export is deformed art, and post-cartographical maps, bought mainly by the United States. Angola doesn't import anything because it's so easy to steal things from neighbouring nations and also by copying Nigerians famous scamming policy they also export robbers to all parts of the world especially to the rich Empire of Haiti.

Fun Facts![edit]

Angola is probably most famous for its part in The War of Photographic Aggression, particularly it's invasion of Nazi Germany, and later the communist invasion that still lasts and prospers.

Angola is the number one exporter of Kizomba "music"

At one of his many gigs, Irish comedian Dara O'Briain (plug, plug) and his audience joked that Angolans are known to be angry and violent.

In Polish language word Angol is pejorative word for Englishman (like Aussies' Pommy). In plural form it's Angole. Poles generally do not like England so they compare them to Angola, which they think is suckish country. Several years ago popular joke in Poland was W Angoli mówią po angielsku what means In Angola they speak English, what shows level of Polish attitude to English language.