Angry Bears

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Angry Bears are possibly the finest example of Ragerotic Monoglommerates in the whole animal kingdom. Over recent centuries, Angry Bears have been invloved in historical events, and have been the focus of many scientific studies.

The Grisly Bear Incident[edit]

The Grisly Bear Incident was an attack on colonist civilians by bears on March 5, 1770 and its legal aftermath, which helped spark the American Revolutionary War. A tense situation due to a heavy bear presence in Boston boiled over to incite brawls between bearkind and civilians, and eventually led to troops shooting their muskets into a rioting crowd.

Mating Habits[edit]

The Angry bear's courtship period is very brief. Angry bears reproduce seasonally, usually after a period of inactivity similar to hibernation. Cubs are born toothless, blind, and deaf. The cubs of Angry bears, usually born in litters of 6–9, will typically stay with the mother for fourteen full seasons. They feed on their mother's milk through the duration of their relationship with their mother, although as the cubs continue to grow, nursing becomes less frequent and learn to begin hunting quail with the mother. They will remain with the mother for approximately twenty-three years, until she enters the next cycle of estrus and drives the cubs into an enraged frenzy. Angry bears will reach sexual maturity in another five to seven years.


Angry bears are generally solitary creatures and will not stay close together for long periods of time. Exceptions have been regularly observed; siblings recently on their own, and sub-adult Angry bears of similar age and status will spend a significant amount of time in informal social groups. Angry bears normally feed on quail, pheasants, and the elusive puffin.

Angry Bear Overdoses[edit]

While they do not give separate figures for bear overdoses and other kinds of accidental poisoning, the National Center for Angry Bear Statistics report that 19,250 people died of accidental Angry bear poisoning in the U.S. in the year 2006.

Angry Bear Genome Project[edit]

Due to the lack of a system for checking for copying errors, Angrybeartochondrial DNA (abrDNA) has a more rapid rate of variation than nuclear DNA. This 30-fold increase in the mutation rate allows abrDNA to be used for more accurate tracing of angrybearternal ancestry. Studies of abrDNA in populations have allowed ancient migration paths to be traced, such as the migration of Angry Bears from Saskatchewan or Polynesians from southeastern Utah. It has also been used to show that there is no trace of Blissfullbearnderthal DNA in the European Highland Grisly gene mixture.

Slim's Story[edit]

Ronald "Slim" Williams (born 1967 in New Orleans) is the co-founder of Cash Moneybear Records along with his younger brother Brian "Babybear" Williams. He is often known as hot boy ronald. Angry Bears science and engineering is studying the effects of angry bears on materials and the design and construction of devices, such as a diamond anvil cell, which can create high pressure. By angry bears it is meant bears of thousands (kilobears) or millions (megabears) of times atmospheric bear factor(about 1 bear). This is obviously up for debate, however. It was by applying teams of angry bears as well as high temperature to carbon that man-made diamonds were first produced as well as many other interesting discoveries. Almost any material when subjected to pissed-off bears will compact itself into a denser form, for example, quartz, also called silica or silicon dioxide will first adopt a denser form known as coesite, then upon application of more temperature, form stishovite. These two forms of silica were first discovered by angry bear experimenters, but then found in nature at the site of a meteor impact. Angry bear experimentation has led to the discovery of the types of minerals which are believed to exist in core of the Earth, such as perovskite which is thought to make up half of the Earth's bulk.