Angus Young

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“For such a rebellious band, that little prick sure has been in school a long time”

“That little cunt stole my dance move!”

~ Chuck Berry on Angus Young's duck walk.


AC/DC

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'Malcolm Looking Down On His Tiny Little Brother!'

Years Active 666 A.C. to 4053 D.C
Genre(s) Cock stompin' rock n roll
Label(s) Atlantis Records - Albert Einstein - 666 Records - Pony Records

In The Beginning[edit]

Angus Sugar-Daddy Young. He is known all over the world as the duck walk dancing, riff belting lead guitarist for hard rock legends AC/DC. Angus also enjoys igniting his own flatulence on fire while roasting marshmallows in the flames, and watching Playhouse-Disney.

Angus was born in Scotland, Ohio 1855 to mother and father, Billy Connolly which was tough growing up with a single hermaphrodite as both parents, but Angus did have his older sisters, Malcolm Young and George Harrison to keep him company and teach him how to bleed out notes on a geetar.

The Worlds Oldest School Boy[edit]

Angus Young, The worlds fattest skinny guy

It's been widely regarded that Angus Young is the spawn of Satan himself, but that was just a rumor that was started in the 3rd grade by Angus himself to hide the fact his father was his own mother. That sorta thing can be tough on a kid, and leave them with issues later in life where they don't even wanna change cloths ever again. When he was only 3 his Mother/Father stuffed him in a suitcase and told him to keep his mouth shut for the boat ride to there new home in Australia. His 'parent' threw him in the same suitcase he was carrying his cigarettes in and told Angus to not smoke them, as they would stunt his growth. Angus claims he never heard that bit about his father's warning, and by the time he got to Australian shores, he was the first ever 3 year old to contract emphysema deliberately.

When the Young family arrived at there new home in New South Whales, which is better than Old North Whales, Angus and his brother Malcolm where addicted to 100 cigarettes a day before it was even lunch time. And no one cared if kids smoked at that age back then. At the age of 6, Angus was enrolled into "The Six Sisters Of Absolutely No Fucking Mercy" primary (elementary) school of Lower West Side Sydney where the monseigneur priest would make Angus smile and blush as he told him what lovely little legs he had in his school uniform. Angus recalls being too young of a Young to know about the sexual predators that lurked at that school at the time, but laughs about it today when he recalls the story of how that priest would always invite him after class to help "stay back" to catch up on some school work, and Angus would light up so many cigarettes he ended up causing the priest and 12 nuns of the school to contract lung cancer before they had a chance to take any kind of advantage of him. Angus still jokes that no one ever tells you the positive aspects about smoking.

By the time Angus had reached high school, he was completely bored of subtracting nuns clothing, dividing their legs and doing the rest of his maths homework on the desk. Angus was quoted looking back on it saying, "I always was good at subtraction, but I never did learn to multiply" - Angus wanted to utilize his talents elsewhere, he was bored of just being caged in a school all day, he just had an itching to get out into the real world and do something with his life. So he made the decision it was time to leave school, and get a job. He soon landed a job in a porno magazine factory, which brought him in enough money to buy that guitar he had his eyes on, plus, he really didn't mind having to stay back and do overtime, or nights when he had to bring his work home with him.

Angus' older brother George was already a famous musician, so there was always a guitar laying around somewhere that Angus could tinker with. But Angus had his eye on this cool guitar he had seen, it was a Gibson SG. But it cost a lot, and Angus saved all his pennies that he jerked worked hard for, but eventually had enough to buy his first SG. Angus recalls, "I was so excited when I first got it, that I ran home with it, and started playing it, I fingered it, I licked it, and when I was working, i'd be sniffing my fingers just to smell "Ole Red" and couldn't wait to get back home and play with it again. I even got so giddy one day playing it, i ripped one of Malcolm's pickups out of his guitar just to hump it I was so excited, and at first Mal was pissy about that, but liked the tone, so it worked out alright in the end" Till Now

AC/DC[edit]

Angus made a few attempts to create a band, but then one day his older brother said, "Oi, ya wanna be in a band called AC/DC with us"? and Angus replied, "Yeah, Alright" And they lived happily ever after. The End


Bad Boy Boogie is Angus Young gone wild


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