Animorph

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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Animorphs.
The Beginning, the ending of Animorphs

“They were domestic terrorists, I tell you! And not even very good ones.”

An Animorph is defined as "an idiot teenager with a death wish." Known as "Changelings" in a country that I can't remember, Animorphs often are found doing surveillance work for the Government.

Term origin[edit]

Groove-billed Ani

“Idiot teenagers with a death wish.”

~ Marco on Animorphs

It is a widespread belief that the term "Animorph" was coined by one of the First Morphers of Animals, the first known group of Animorphs, who scholars believe to have been a lexicographer. The term is a portmanteau of ani, meaning "black cuckoo", and Morpheus, a music album by Canadian group Delerium.

What Animorphs do[edit]

“Andalite bandits!”

~ Oscar Wilde on Animorphs

“The Andalite gave us the morphing power for a reason. It wasn't just for the fun of being a dog or a horse or a bird. He hoped we would fight.”

~ Jake on the role of Animorphs

Animorphs may do any number of jobs for the Government, including tax collection, law enforcement, military service, and disposing of rebellious persons. The most well-known function of Animorphs, however, is to save the world from mind-controlling aliens whilst making witty comments and stupid mistakes and wallowing in pools of hormones.


Well-known Animorphs[edit]

Many people who are popular in developed and developing countries around the world consider themselves to be Animorphs. The following persons are known to be, or to have been, Animorphs:

  • Shawn Ashmore
  • Camilla Bell
  • Al Gore
  • Jake Berenson
  • Brino Quadruplets
  • Jamie Lynn Spears
  • The Dalai Lama
  • Michael Jackson (morphed cockroach to sneak into the YMCA Boy's Club)
  • Ava "symbooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhlllllllll" lynam

Morphing ability[edit]

It is not fully known the source from which Animorphs derive their morphing ability. Arrow's Theory is among the most widely accepted theories. According to this theory, all one needs to do to gain the ability to morph and fight aliens is to steal an Andalite Escafil Device, plug it into any 125 volt AC outlet, and rub it vigorously. This theory has been found to be logical, but scientists have yet to prove whether or not it works in practice.

Time Travel[edit]

Animorphs have a tendency to travel through time, and true hilarity results. The same people being and doing in multiple timelines often result in strange paradoxes, particularly when consciousness suddenly shifts between timelines. This section cannot mention specifics, due to the fact that it wasn't really written.

Animorphs in popular culture[edit]

The Invasion, the first Animorphs book

Because of their gentle nature and audacity, Animorphs have been the subject of books, toys, magazines, websites, TV shows, video games, and at least one Presidential State of the Union Address.

  • The TV series Animorphs, which originally aired on The Military Channel in 2005, featured actual video footage of Animorph military operations in the Yeerk-Andalite War.
  • The game Animorphs: Beyond the Call of Duty for the Nintendo Game Boy Color is the first in a series of role-playing games in which the player, who controls an Animorph protagonist, takes part in several historical events in the Yeerk-Andalite War, including the liberation of the Hork-Bajir home world and the destruction of the first Earth-based Kandrona.
  • A book series, also titled Animorphs, chronicles the events in the guerrilla war carried out by human Animorphs against the mind-controlling aliens. There are a total of sixty-four Animorphs books.
  • Animorphs are often parodied on sketch-comedy shows such as The Amanda Show.

Animorph complaints[edit]

“Tobias is trapped in a morph.”

Although most Animorphs agree that their morphing ability is extremely useful and invaluable, many also have grievances with the current morphing technology. This section describes some of their concerns.

  • The inability to morph clothing - The only clothing that Animorphs have found a way to maintain through morphs are thin, skintight fabrics such as spandex. This has been a cause for "much embarrassment" for modest Animorphs. There have also been cases of Animorphs being cited for indecent exposure when an absent-minded Animorph returned to human morph without a "morphing suit."
  • Two-hour time limit - Current morphing technology only allows an Animorph to remain in a morph for two hours before their original DNA denatures. This means that any Animorph who remains in any one morph for more than two consecutive hours (without returning back to their original state) has become a "nothlit" (i.e., someone who is trapped in a morph). There is no known way to return one's morphing ability, other than through natural metamorphosis, after they have become a nothlit. As a result, many careless Animorphs have been trapped in the bodies of animals such as hawks, dolphins, gorillas, iguanas, lice, and duck-billed platypus. These individuals usually wind up being terminated from their careers and seek jobs at zoos, circuses, and pharmaceutical testing facilities.
  • Difficulty in controlling instincts - While not all animals have overpowering instincts, it can be difficult, Animorphs say, to "control" the genetically inherited instincts that come with an animal body. They say it is most difficult during the first morph of any particular species. Loss of control has resulted in embarrassing behavior, the random killing of animals and/or people, and the creation of nothlits.

Abuse of morphing ability[edit]

“Oh, I'm sure we could talk them into letting us in for nothing. Just tell them we're Animorphs.”

~ Marco on trespassing

Although most Animorphs are upstanding citizens, some Animorphs stoop to using their morphing power for evil. There are allegations of Animorphs committing the crimes of property vandalism, trespassing, burglary, voyeurism, treason, and public urination while in morph. Law enforcement officials say that it is virtually impossible to gather enough evidence to prosecute an Animorph for a crime committed while in morph, partially because of the following:

  • Eyewitnesses and visual evidence are only admissible evidence if the Animorph is seen actually in the process of morphing.
  • Many animal species lack identifying features such as fingerprints.
  • The DNA of the Animorph is, for the duration of the morph, identical to the DNA of the animal from which the DNA was acquired. Prosecutors cannot prove that it was not the original animal that undertook the alleged crime.

Some people suggest that permits be required for certain morphs to be acquired, and some say that other morphs should be prohibited from acquisition. Animorphs claim that such regulation would be classified as discrimination and that such interference violates their civil liberties.

  • Having kinky, alien sex, as shown when Prince Elfangor became human and tapped a human girl named Loren. Thus, was Tobias born, but then it was made not to happen by the Ellimist, but in such a way that Tobias was still born. And leave a letter bragging about it to his lawyer. Some editing skills, eh, Ellimist?

Controllers, Visser Three in particular, also claim that Animorphs use their morphing ability to hamper their conquest of Earth. This has led them to install Gleet BioFilters at entry points to sensitive Yeerk installations, such as Yeerk pools, and to import vast quantities of hunter-killer robots from the Taxxon home world. Visser Three also alleges that Animorphs are responsible for many Controller deaths and is requesting legal action be taken against any Animorph found to be hindering the Yeerk invasion.

The theft of cinnamon buns have been found to be a major problem in major American cities. Chocolate bars, cigarettes and just about any edible substance are in short supply. It is believed that the colonization of Andalites in this area may be a contributing source to the thefts.

Differentiating Animorphs from animals[edit]

With Animorphs having the ability to use the body of any animal they acquire, it can be difficult to recognize an Animorph in morph. This section addresses ways to distinguish Animorphs from regular animals.

  • Does a particular animal seem to only be visible for short (i.e., less than two hour) periods of time? If so, it might be an Animorph (See "Animorph complaints").
  • Do you observe an animal displaying intelligence beyond the natural capability of the animal? Possible Animorph.
  • If you are a Yeerk, do you often see the same group of animals attacking your weak point for massive damage? Could be Animorphs!
  • Does the Animal talk to you through thoughts? Then it's either an Andalite or an Animorph.

RACHEL KILLS TOM AND DIES!!!!![edit]

ZOMG ITS TRUE!!11!

See also[edit]