Anish

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

Jump to: navigation, search

Anish, the gay emperor of Shamballa (a town in the outskirts of kuwait)...was a mild mannered dude, until he turned 5. That was the time when his own twin brother tried to kill him, twice. After that traumatising experience he used to get involuntary urges to annoy everyone... even strangers.

His famous quotes- "Fuck you bitch!", "Suck my cock bitch!" and "I am only gay for Mikey!" can still be heard on the Red light district of Shamballa. His followers still believe that it was him that accidently discovered the art of "bone licking" while on one of his adventures in his teens on the 25th of December with his four friends. The secret still remains of what really happened since the only friend who actually saw the whole event did not speak English.

Another mystery that the scientists of modern era are still trying to discover is the spelling of his middle name. Earlier it was believed that it was just a mistake by the admin dudes when he was born but the new documents found with the Judas papers...dating back hundreds of yrs, have made them realise that there is a dark secret behind all this and it could be a huge conspiracy waiting to be unravelled, which might even change the course of history behind his existence.

Rumours have it that Lollywood is planning on making a movie on Anish. It would star none other than Michael Jackson in the lead role who hopes to revive his career by doing movies and feels that he fits the role perfectly.


Properties of Anish

It is not quite documented how Anish truly exists in this plane of reality. He appears to people in different forms (ie. to the Christians he is the Anti-Christ, to lawyers he is a gold mine, to his followers he is better known as "the Queen", etc). However there are a few properties that definitely identify him from any other mistake of nature.

Property I:

When Chuck Norris sleeps, he checks his bed for Anish. This makes Chuck Norris the only known hunter of Anish or Anish spawns.

Property II:

Holy water to his usually deformed face is like kryptonite is to Superman. It instantly turns him homosexual.

Property III:

Man-handling Anish without proper supervision could lead to paralysis, a mild case of rabies, and an unexplainable urge to huff kittens. Not to be taken orally or instant death can result.

164856 Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)

Personal tools
on Uncyclopedia