Antarctican

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Antartican, also known as "The language of the penguins", is the most widely known language in the world. Deriving from when ancient Antarticans attempted to speak with the local wild life, this language rose into power quickly, then fell from power, rose again, got the plague, died, came back as a zombie, and is now running the world stock exchange. How this zombie language rose to such heights, no one will ever know. But I blame taxes.

On Taxes[edit]

Now don't get me wrong, taxes are wonderful. Without them, where would we get our Pepsi cola and buttons that say "I like Ike!"? But with the recent cost of living and the Cranberry Product War in Luxembourg, people have been needing to save their pennies anyway they can. And even Capitan Planet cannot save those pennies now, with his green mullet and shininess. Somewhere in Montana, an accountant found that for each verb a person uses, their taxes go up a devastating 0.00000001%, while for every adjective taxes go up 0.00000002%. With these unbearable increases in taxes, people decided to use the Antartican language (as it has no verbs or adjectives) to save them boatloads of cash.

Back to Linguistics[edit]

The Antartican language consists of a single word, "SQUARK". Local legend says this word derived from the ancient settlers, who, being dressed in fine [[tuxedo]s, attempted to communicate with their tuxedo clad bretherin, the almighty penguins. Now, the mighty penguins work in mysterious ways, and as such they spoke but one word unto these poor foolish men. "SQUARK" said the penguin. "Squark...?" repeated the settlers in disbelief. "But what does it mean?!" they asked. They begged, even pleaded with the almighty penguin. But the penguin turned away from the men and flew into a mysterious pool of water, never to be seen again. The men went around and cried to the surrounding penguins about this mystery. But all of the penguins replied the same thing. "SQUARK". The settlers adopted this as their national language, in honour of the first penguin. Some still wait for the return of the first penguin.

The "SQUARK" can mean anything from "I declare war on your giblets", to "The nasal spores of comedy cause my brain to spark erraticaly". To the untrained ear, this language could seem like a whole bunch of loud penguin noises. This has caused many unprevoked wars through out history. To sum it up, the Antartic language has proved to be and integral part of world history, and without it we would probobly succumb to a flash game induced coma.

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