Anti-Barney Songs

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to navigation Jump to search
I love you...you love me..AAHHHHH!! *RRRRRRRRRRR-RRRRRRRRRRR!!!!*

Note: This article is extremely violent. The squeamish should look away, or else go fatten yourselfs up on ice cream so Hitler can eat you.

Anti-Barney Songs are extremely popular songs with both adolescents, preteens, and intelligent people. Almost anyone who loves the "Barney and Fiends" television show might be inclined to sing one of these catchy tunes.

Examples

Joy To The World The Big Man's Dead

(Sung to the tune of "Joy To The World")

Joy to the world
That Barney's dead
We barbecued his head!
What happened to his body?
We flushed it down the potty
Down into the sewer, straight into the manure
Round and round it goes!
Five years later, chewin' on his underwear
Wish he had another pair
Eaten by a polar bear!
Chewin' on his underwear
Nine years later, had another barbecue
I had to go to the restroom
I run up the stairs and look in the toilet
And there was Barney's head!
Joy to the world
That Barney's dead
We barbecued his head!
What happened to his body?
We flushed it down the potty
Round and round it goes like Indiana Jones
We watched it go round and round!

I Hate You

(Sung to the tune of "This Old Man")

I hate you
You hate me
Let's tie Barney to a tree
With an M16 and a pistol full of lead
We just shot off Barney's head
I hate you
You hate me
Barney gave you H.I.V.
So we punched him in the balls and shot him in the head
Now that purple thing is dead
I hate you
You hate me
Lets team up and kill Barney
With a baseball bat
And a Four-by-Four
No more purple dinosaur
I hate you
You Hate Me
Let's tie Barney to a tree!
I'll get the match,
You get the gasoline,
Light the match and watch him scream.
I hate you
You hate me
We're a racist family
So let's kill that big, fat freak they call Barney
Then we will be more happy
I hate you, 
You hate me
Let's hang Barney from a tree
With a knife, and a gun, and a bullet through his head
Till that purple thing is dead
I hate you, 
You hate me
The ratel army killed Barney
With a gun and a tank and 12 atomic bombs
We're all glad that Barney's gone
I hate you,
You hate me
Lets tie Barnie to a tree
Stab him in the back shoot him in the head
Now the purple thing is dead
I hate you,
You hate me
Barney's taken ecstasy
There you see him,lying on the floor
Sorry kids - no more purple dinosaur
I hate you,
You hate me
I saw Godzilla kill Barney
With a fire blast that retard hit the floor
No more stupid dinosaur
I hate you,
You hate me
Barney's stung by a killer bee
And now he's lying dead on the floor
No more purple dinosaur
I hate you,
You hate me
Let's be friends and kill Barney
With a shotgun *BANG BANG*
Barney on the floor
No more purple dinosaur

I hate you,
You hate me
But let's get together and KILL Barney
With a great big bazooka 
We blow off his head
Sorry kids but Barney's dead
I hate you,
You hate me
Let's chase barney up a tree
grab a bazooka, 
shoot em in the head
Hallelujah Barney's dead
I hate you,
You hate me
Let's get together and kill Barney
With a really big bomb
And a bullet to his brain
We're all happy Barney's dead'

On Top of Old Oakey

(Sung to the tune of "On Top Of Old Smokey")

On Top of a old oakey
All covered in blood
I shot evil Barney
With a .500 stud
I went to his fun'ral
I went to his grave
Some people threw flowers
I threw a grenade
Now Sorry for Barney
all covered in red
And now you can all see
that Barney is dead
I dug up the body
and cloned the remains
And just for the pleasure
I killed him again

Deck the Halls

(A violent Christmas favorite)

Deck the Halls with bloody dino
Hahahahahahahahaha
See the nuke charge like a rhino
Hahahahahahahahaha
Barney's dead on Christmas day
Hahahahahahahahaha
Now There's nothing left to say
Hahahahahahahahaha
Evil mind controller's gone
Hahahahahahahahaha
His remains lay on the lawn
Hahahahahahahahaha
Now the world is safe again
Hahahahahahahahaha
No more counting one through ten
Hahahahahahahahaha
Barney's evil scheme is ruined
Hahahahahahahahaha
Now the studio is suin'
Hahahahahahahahaha 
Oops! They ran out in less than an hour
Hahahahahahahahaha
Barney has lost all his power
Hahahahahahahahaha
Deck the halls with heads of Barney
Hahahahahahahahaha
Serves him right for being crummy
Hahahahahahahahaha
Now let's sing this song again
Hahahahahahahahaha
This song shall never end
Hahahahahahahahaha*
* Repeat


Yankee Doodle

Barney was a dinosaur
From our imagination,
He stuck a pencil up his arse
And died from constipation!

Jingle Bells

(Another violent Christmas favorite)

Dashing through the snow
On a pair of broken skis
Downhill Barney goes
Crashing into trees
The snow is turning red
We think he's almost dead
Now let's go get a two-by-four and hit him on the head
Jingle Bells, shotgun shells
Purple dino's dead
We struck him with a two-by-four
And shot him in the head
Baby Bop, Baby Bop
Tried to save his life
But an action man from Pakistan
Stabbed her with a knife

Row Your Boat

(Especially fun around the campfire)

Row, row, row, your boat
gently down the stream
Push Barney overboard
And listen to him scream
Five days later
he rose from the dead
took a 12-gauge shotgun
and blew off his head

ABCs

(Just for fun!)

A, B, C, D, E, F, G
Barney is my enemy!
Hit 'im with a piece of lead
Now we know that Barney's dead!
Now you know I hate Barney
Next time won't you sing with me!

Take Me Out to Kill Barney

(To the tune of "Take Me Out to the Ballgame"

Take me out to kill Barney
Take me out to his show
Get me a gun and a baseball bat
I don't care if it takes too slow
And we'll shoot, shoot, shoot, to kill Barney
Until he hits the floor
For it's one, two, three, gunshots wounds
No more purple dinosaur


Happy Birthday

(To the tune of Happy Birthday)

Happy Birthday to you
Flush Barney down the loo
He looks like purple poo
And he smells like it too
 barney is a dinosaur that will tear your kids yo shreds don't let your kids near him he's a fricking t-rex

History

The first episode of "Barney and Fiends" aired on February 6, 1992. By February 7th, most of these songs were well known.

Though a full length CD has been planned, the music label is waiting for a significant number of related lawsuits to clear up. See below.

Legal Recourse

Many lawsuits have been started by both Barney and his producers, the Purple Nazi Production Company. Aka Hitler, Castro and Stalin inc. As with "Happy Birthday," any time you sing one of these songs in public, chances are good someone will hear you and file a lawsuit.

Template:Rewrite/Soft