Anti-Neo-Soviet Order of Oranges
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“Shit! Those goddamn Russians are invading us. We need to protect ourselves.”
~ Georgian government on Russia invading
“Fuck! The Russians cut of the heat on the coast of the Black Sea. We need some fucking help!”
~ Bulgarian government on Russia cutting off their natural gas
The Anti-Neo-Soviet Order of Oranges is an organization formed by a council of the leaders of former Soviet states as a supplement to the GUAM group. It is a complete opposite of the Order of the Communist Pear. Even it's name was created to be the opposite of the OCP.
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[edit] Formation
ANSOO was officially formed in January of 2009 when Russia cut off natural gas supplies to Bulgaria. However the idea of an alliance of former Soviet states was conceived in the summer of 2008 when Russia invaded Georgia. Feeling very threatened by Russia's actions ANSOO was formed to combat Russia's slow recreation of the Soviet Union.
[edit] Initial Rejection
The idea of the ANSOO was initially rejected. Ukraine spearheaded the movement for an alliance, but their ideas were rejected by many of the former Soviets when they realized they would have to collaborate with one another. Kazakhstan was completely opposed to working with "assholes Uzbekistan". Tajikistan and Turkmenistan agreed on one point however.
“Fuck you guys. We're just gonna chill while the Russians destroy the rest of you”
~ Tajikistan and Turkmenistan on idea of ANSOO
[edit] Other Members and Supporters
Many other countries have joined ANSOO to prevent Russia from overtaking more territory, whether they were previously controlled or not. Germany, Afghanistan, Mongolia, and Bosnia joined almost immediately after hearing about the group. Poland, South Korea, Britain, Norway, and Canada are showing interest as well. This is the type of thing America would jump at the opportunity to join, but their too self-absorbed, distracted, and ignorant to even notice it.
[edit] Platform
ANSOO has set up a basic platform for their group to clarify their ideals and goals.
* Russia must back down from interests in post-Soviet states and their allies * Vladimir Putin and Dmitry Medvdev must relinquish their government offices * Vladimir Putin must publicly give oral sex to the leaders of the nations in ANSOO * Russia must fund a bridge across the Bering Strait to Alaska so if need be America and/or Canada can easily invade them * All ANSOO members must make an effort to eliminate sodomy in all of its forms
[edit] Dissenters
ANSOO has received criticism and opposition from many world powers. Their anti-sodomy ideals have lost them the support of the Catholic Church, France, and primarily Catholic nations such as Ireland, and Croatia. Also, certain parts of Canada are against joining ANSOO for its goals of possible violence and elimination of sodomy. Because of ANSOO's anti-sodomy ideals Newfoundland has threatened to secede from Canada if it joins ANSOO. Many Catholics and Christians are against the idea of men receiving oral sex from Vladimir Putin, but most people are for the idea of Putin sucking cock because he is a "commie bastard" and deserves to "suck dick".
