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The Holocaust museum is run by Jews!

~ Mahathir bin Mohamad on Anti-Semitism

I never said criticism of Israel is necessarily Anti-Semitic...It's only Anti-Semitic if I disagree with it!

~ Alan Dershowitz on Anti-Semitism

An anti-Semite is a spermicidal device, mostly although not exclusively used to keep freaks from breeding. It typically works by taking babies, bleeding them, and baking that blood into the Christian Eucharist. The dead babies then get together, write up a dumb manuscript on how to take over the world, and then go into the banks to lend people their money and pee. It is quite effective.

Evidence of Anti-Semitism. Note the irrational hatred here.


Anti-Semitism consists of two morphemes. The first, anti is derived from the Inca word Anti, denoting the neighbouring tribe today known as Campa. The Anti people, who gave their name to the Inca province of Antisuyu, were notorious for ferocity and cannibalism. Semitism is derived from the word semen, lifegiver in Aramaic, in turns derived from the name Sem, after the founding father of the many, many tribes of Israel. Sem is called the lifegiver because he had a lot of non-consented-sex which lead to the birth of babies. Thusly, anti-Semitism roughly translates into babykilling.

History of anti-Semitism[edit]

Trends in spermicidals change from time to time, and Anti-Semitism is no exception. Throughout history the baby-killing fashion has experienced its fair share of change.


Anti-Semitism was first used in Ancient Egypt, most likely around 1600 BC, when an unknown, yet fair and just, Pharaoh demanded that all male Jew babies should be killed. He almost succeeded, but missed one super-sneaky Jew-baby known as Moe. A few thousand years later a Jewish king named 'Herod-the-nice-man' would read about this incident while sitting on his throne(shitter) and realize that that Pharaoh was actually onto a good thing and instigate another male Jewish baby slaughtering, he dubbed it Operation Cull the Herd it is recorded in history as being a great unifying event throughout the Jewish world, for posterity purposes all male Jewish babies were circumcised before being killed and their foreskins were made into necklaces that became the height of fashion in the Jewish nation of Jewzakahstan. Herod would later become the first man to be cyrogenically frozen, he was later thawed out and changed his surname Hitler, though his Christian name (Jew's have those too) remains a mystery to this day.

Inbetween Antiquity and Today[edit]

For many years, anti-Semitism flourished in underground Europe and the Middle East, until Martin Luther canceled Christianity and made everything legal. Ever since, everyone has been having lots of anti-Semite abortions and sexin' it up wearing condoms, and that's totally okay now!

Modern anti-Semitism[edit]

The Anti-Semite 3000 Home Abortion Kit

The single most successful case of anti-Semitism was the lottery-like abortion game invented by ever-visionary German Emperor Adolf Hitler during his rule. Through random selection, lucky citizens were selected for deportation and killed for the sake of everyone else's well-being. This method was later dubbed Holocaust (very late abortion in Greek) and is generally considered the peak of "anti-Semitism". By chance, this also rid Germany of many foreigners, putting a halt to multiculturalism.

Satanists also practice anti-Semitism: they ritually murder babies in day care cults, whereupon a Head Satanist, or Baphomet, will open up a day care center, take in babies, refer to one of them as "it" rather than "him" or "her", and then sacrifice it, saying "Abracadabra!". Then they spread chicken blood all over the floor and chant the "I Am Not a Sissy" prayer over and over again. After the fact, another Satanist takes the role of Shrink, in which one tells a kid (to whom nothing bad actually happened) to lie down on a couch and tell everyone that something bad happened to him or her, whereupon the Satanists all get arrested and go to jail. Nobody knows why the Satanists practice this bizarre (according to Jerry Springer) kind of anti-Semitism, but they do! (Falun Gong has imitated this practice, but they never became very good at it; when they try to do it, their traditional morality compels them to get married instead.)

Examples of Failed anti-Semitism[edit]