Antlantis

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The lost continent of North America was originally called Antlantis in reference to the European legend that it was once an underwater civilization of fish-people that died when it rose to the surface. Evidence for this legend can be found in Atlanta, Georgia on the human skeletons with dorsal fins growing out of their backs. Pepsi enthusiasts claim, when they aren't busy kissing their mothers, that the fins were merely the result of the numerous factories producing miniature drums of toxic waste for marketing toward American consumers (see: Coca-Cola.) The neighboring nation of Canada suggested that Antlantis be renamed America, which means "Sorry, my mistake," in his native Belgian.

In 2005, one year after the establishment of the Coca-Cola Headquarters, Atlanta, Georgia decided to sink itself back into the ocean rather than be associated with an inferior soft drink. This was achieved by sending the city out by raft, and eating McDonalds fast food until the town grew too fat to float on the water. Usually, the United States of America would not be happy about secession from the Union, however, in the words of George W. Bush in 2005,

"In the speech of the Surgeon General, it was annouced that America must 'cut the fat' in order to maintain a healthy level of un-obesity. Today, we have cut the fat, and America is now 800 million pounds lighter thanks to our efforts to free America from the terrorist extremism of obesity."

Though thought to be a good idea at the time, Atlanta has since become the hottie capital of the world. The rest of the U.S. is now very jealous.