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- 1111 - The Knights Templar came into being, as a clandestine drinking society.
- 1391 - Bob Hope fights a grizzly bear and is elected King of Prussia upon his victory.
- 1942 - Classic arcade title 1942 designed, rights to year purchased by Capcom.
- 1983 - Science invented by accident. Quickly swept into bedpan.
- 1984 - Miniluv put crimethink proles into fridge, remake them goodthink fullwise.
- 2001 - The mailman bangs your mom. She's a slut, dude.
- 2002 - The U.S. Kitten Embargo begins as part of The War Against Terror
- 2005 - St. Peter's Basilica accidentally eats the Pope.
- 2005 - The first Expired Goods Festival is held.
- 2007 - The third Expired Goods Festival is held and abandoned, due to mutant foodstuffs eating exhibitors.
- 2008 - X-Men come to fight with mutant foodstuffs but later have found that they're the same kind as them. So they have good brotherly hug and leave.
- 2009 - Captain Obvious volunteer to fight mutant foodstuffs "Mutant foodstuffs is some foods that turn into monster." but found that they are all eaten by Grue and Oscar Wilde.
- 2010 - Wayne Rooney discovers second brain cell then asplodes after information overload.
- 2012 - The number two renamed "second one"