This article is about the village Apsevci in east Croatia.
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|Motto : "Lipovac je u Apsevcima!"|
|National Anthem: Shorty - Dođi u Apševce|
|Language||Šokački, podgrupa hrvatskog jezika|
|Government||Great Council of Apsevci (members:Jafa i Slavko od tete Vere)|
|National Hero||Tuftu Luftu,only man
in the village who knows how to drive a car.
|Best acter||Sean Connery (born in Apsevci)|
|Local sport||Chatching girls form Lipovac with tractor|
|Religion||People of Apsevci worshipe holy Ilija,
he is the ruler of thunders and lightning.
|Popular saying||A:Jel placas pice?
B:Cime ? ekserima?!
The great village of Apsevci is settled on the east border of the glorius Croatian Republic, to be exact 4 km from small Serbia. One mighty river floats trough this mystic village, and that river is called Bosut. River Bosut is quite usefull, not only for fishing and swimming, no, locals often find tractors, tires, golden chetniks, bombs, planes etc. in the river Bosut. South neighbour of Apsevci is the village Lipovac (greatest nemesis,a place which fat people consider as home). Altough Lipovac has 5-6 caffe bars and Apsevci only one named Plus, wenn you want to get drunk or end up with a gorgeous girl, you won't go to Lipovac. North neighbour is the village Podgradje, a gay community. People from Podgradje are not allowed to enter Apsevci. Why? Well, they are all origined from Slovenia, so they are all gay. East and west of Apsevci is a thick forest in wich many strange creatures live, like: unicorns, midgets, griffins, golden chetniks and females.
So called Big Bang is actually the story about creation of Apsevci.
Greates nemesis of Apsevci
Girls in Podgradje--> "http://img53.imageshack.us/img53/7408/20060207140812gaysee8.jpg"
Girls in Apsevci --> "http://img164.imageshack.us/img164/7840/2192pullmansheriffzj4.jpg"
Girls in Lipovac --> "http://img482.imageshack.us/img482/9841/fatwomento7.jpg"
Major products of Apsevci
Golden chetniks are the most popular export product from Apsevci, it's very hard to dig them out, (because they could be only found on the coast of the mighty river Bosut) so they aren't cheap. Golden chetniks are quite like golden fishes, but instead of granting three wishes they grant you three mass graves. Biggest importer of golden chetniks are Chuck Norris, North Korea and San Marino.
ajd u očin - hajde kvragu - go to hell
antlogor - šegrt - assistent
bobe - Srbi - Serbs
busija - nepozvani gosti - unwanted guests
cajkoši - policija - police
ćuprija . prilaz -
čakšire - hlače - pants
četnici - Srbi - Serbs
četnovoz - srpski vlak - serbain train
čujem da se bucaš - čujem da se jebaješ - ?????impossible to translate
drkađžije - Srbi - Serbs
drnadti- mastrubirati - jack off
dronfulja - drolja - slut
falj is' - Hvaljen Isus! - Praise the Lord!
flautaš - onaj koji vrši oralni seks - oral sex man
furuna - peć - owen
gljista - glista - worm
jeli bre' - Srbi - Serbs
kaćara - ostava - ?????
kaljuža - Bosut - river Bosut
kirijaš - šumar - forestman
krvavi Turci - Turci - Turks
kurjače - maškare
ljubenica - lubenica- watremellon
Maččak - lopov - thief
madar - penis - penis
nanule - klompe- dutch shoes
neš ić' - odlazi - go o way
penđer - prozo - window
sinija - naslonjač - chair
šupci - Srbi - Serbs
teta Verica - Konzum - Marks&Spencer
žvrnkati - jesti sjemenke - eat seeds
židovi - Srbi - Serbs
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