Apsevci

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This article is about the village Apsevci in east Croatia.

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Nezavisni Apševci
http://i48.photobucket.com/albums/f234/ivansitum/ultrasapevci1.jpg
Resident of Apsevci are the greatest hooligans in Europe,

all of them support football club Cibalia.

Motto : "Lipovac je u Apsevcima!"
National Anthem: Shorty - Dođi u Apševce
Language Šokački, podgrupa hrvatskog jezika
Government Great Council of Apsevci (members:Jafa i Slavko od tete Vere)
President Zvona Vuić
Population cca. 300
National Hero Tuftu Luftu,only man

in the village who knows how to drive a car.

Best acter Sean Connery (born in Apsevci)
Local sport Chatching girls form Lipovac with tractor
Currency Ekser (nail)
Religion People of Apsevci worshipe holy Ilija,

he is the ruler of thunders and lightning.

Popular saying A:Jel placas pice?

B:Cime ? ekserima?!

http://img108.imageshack.us/img108/3016/croatialq7.gif http://img482.imageshack.us/img482/2789/apsevci1sj8.jpg http://img252.imageshack.us/img252/1364/apsevcigb4.jpg

Location[edit]

The great village of Apsevci is settled on the east border of the glorius Croatian Republic, to be exact 4 km from small Serbia. One mighty river floats trough this mystic village, and that river is called Bosut. River Bosut is quite usefull, not only for fishing and swimming, no, locals often find tractors, tires, golden chetniks, bombs, planes etc. in the river Bosut. South neighbour of Apsevci is the village Lipovac (greatest nemesis,a place which fat people consider as home). Altough Lipovac has 5-6 caffe bars and Apsevci only one named Plus, wenn you want to get drunk or end up with a gorgeous girl, you won't go to Lipovac. North neighbour is the village Podgradje, a gay community. People from Podgradje are not allowed to enter Apsevci. Why? Well, they are all origined from Slovenia, so they are all gay. East and west of Apsevci is a thick forest in wich many strange creatures live, like: unicorns, midgets, griffins, golden chetniks and females.

History[edit]

So called Big Bang is actually the story about creation of Apsevci.

Apsevci-Croatian dictionary[edit]

Greates nemesis of Apsevci[edit]

Girls in Podgradje--> "http://img53.imageshack.us/img53/7408/20060207140812gaysee8.jpg"

Girls in Apsevci --> "http://img164.imageshack.us/img164/7840/2192pullmansheriffzj4.jpg"

Girls in Lipovac --> "http://img482.imageshack.us/img482/9841/fatwomento7.jpg"

Major products of Apsevci[edit]

Golden chetniks[edit]

Golden chetniks are the most popular export product from Apsevci, it's very hard to dig them out, (because they could be only found on the coast of the mighty river Bosut) so they aren't cheap. Golden chetniks are quite like golden fishes, but instead of granting three wishes they grant you three mass graves. Biggest importer of golden chetniks are Chuck Norris, North Korea and San Marino.

Apsevci-Croatian-English dictionary[edit]

A

ajd u očin - hajde kvragu - go to hell

antlogor - šegrt - assistent


B

bobe - Srbi - Serbs

busija - nepozvani gosti - unwanted guests

C

cajkoši - policija - police

Ć

ćuprija . prilaz -

Č

čakšire - hlače - pants

četnici - Srbi - Serbs

četnovoz - srpski vlak - serbain train

čujem da se bucaš - čujem da se jebaješ - ?????impossible to translate

D

drkađžije - Srbi - Serbs

drnadti- mastrubirati - jack off

dronfulja - drolja - slut

Đ

ĐŽ

E

F

falj is' - Hvaljen Isus! - Praise the Lord!

flautaš - onaj koji vrši oralni seks - oral sex man

furuna - peć - owen

G

gljista - glista - worm

H

I

J

jeli bre' - Srbi - Serbs

K

kaćara - ostava - ?????

kaljuža - Bosut - river Bosut

kirijaš - šumar - forestman

krvavi Turci - Turci - Turks

kurjače - maškare

L

LJ

ljubenica - lubenica- watremellon

M

Maččak - lopov - thief

madar - penis - penis

N

nanule - klompe- dutch shoes

neš ić' - odlazi - go o way

NJ

O

P

penđer - prozo - window

R

S

sinija - naslonjač - chair

Š

šupci - Srbi - Serbs

T

teta Verica - Konzum - Marks&Spencer

U

V

Z


Ž

žvrnkati - jesti sjemenke - eat seeds

židovi - Srbi - Serbs