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The Ark is a boat used for public transport. First invented by God, after deciding that even for an almighty being, walking to the office takes to long. The Ark is also responsible for the extinction of the unicorn. Way to go Noah. Fucking asshole.


Noah was a public drunkard known for flogging his 3 children, Ham, Shem and Japeth, publicly. He was known to have hallucinations after taking his favorite party drug, Extacytomeniphen. Noah had a Napoleon Complex and was rumored to have a tiny penis. He made up for this by buying larger cars and homes than anyone else.

After a Binge, Noah was given a "mission" from "God" to build the Ark, but most historians think he was just wanting to show up his neighbor, Frank Sinatra, who owned a large yacht, on which he kept his zoo.

Bill Cosby[edit]

According to biblical historian Bill Cosby, Noah's first reaction upon hearing of his requirement to build the Ark was, "Yeah, right!"


The following is an extract from the Bhuddist-Reggae Bible:

Genesis 7: And God's like "Yo, Noah man. You go build me that Ark we is talkin about y'know? Then we's being like good friend and I ain't frying your turky ass y'know what i'm saying/ 'Cos i'm pissed with m' hommies like y'know? and like I'm gona flood'm out and like incy wincy spider that man!"

Genesis 8: And God's like "Get your ass on that Ark man. No pets allowed. Well, maby one or two million, but no dinosaurs, y'hear me?" And god killed all the people with water and's like "bitta rain no hurt no-one, huh?"

Genesis 9: And God's like "You go get you some love man. you'se working on this Ark to long."

Genesis 10: And god's like "Shit, man. Theres'a like no one alive. How has i supposed to no that all you hommies would die if I killed you/ i wont do that again."

See also[edit]