Armchair

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An armchair is stereotypically an chair with arms. It was invented in 1464 by a roman simpleton that went by the name of Renny Hillzwigger, although he invented it, he had no idea what it's purpose was. This new invention shocked the masses unto the point at which they ran Renny over with a turtle strapped to the back of a 2007 lambretta moped. 89 years later, still destressed by this invention authorities dug up Mr. Hillzwiggers body and once again ran it over with a 2007 lambretta moped. Then another 109 years later somebody actually managed to find a use for the armchair, a woman named Shy Mushrooms found out that if you sat in the chair you could sit comfortably whilst resting your arms. When she explained this to local authorities, they accepted the explanation, but just for a bit of fun they dug up Mr. Hillzwigger and ran him and Ms. Mushrooms over with a 2007 lambretta moped. 67 months and 7999999999999999999999999999999999999999991 years later a moron that went by the name of Hug Children found out that by strapping a squirrel to an armchair, pouring oil onto it and adding wheels to the bottom, you could push the chair down the hill and laugh. Unfortunately, the day after this revelation, Mr. Children was ran over by a newly excavated 2007 lambretta moped. Soon, armchairs became a fashion item, everywhere you looked there was an armchair, fortunately those people that bought horrendous yellow and orange striped ones were all mystically killed by a 2007 lambretta moped at any stage of the day. one woman was ran over while she was feeding her pet snake, another was ran over during sex, all these occurences led to nowhere since nobody had ever seen them occur. A mad professor thought that he could personalise his armchair by putting a brain into it that would make it do whatever he commanded, after he had completed the experiment and found, much to his glee, it had worked, still, the professor got ran over by a 2007 lambretta moped, this time with speed stripes!! Soon, a torrent of armchairs with superior intelligence burst out of the professors house and took over the world. Years later it was found that not only had the professor added a brain to the armchair, but had also given it the means of sexual reproduction, enabling the armchairs to create an unstoppable army of intelligent beings called............(dum dum duuuuuuuuuuuuum!).............ARMCHAIRS!!! This concludes our history of armchairs, but we have not yet reviewed the future and so, i leave it to weird people such as i or ascar wilde to carry on....The Legacy Of The ARMCHAIR!