Armor

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A prime example of what not to do with armor.

Armor is any piece of material, typically worn or carried, that is used for the pupose of absobing damage so that one may presereve his or her H.P. Historically, Armor has always played an importaint role in war, anime and RPGs.

[edit] History of Armor

In the year 1345, people were desperatly attempting to invent something that could protect them against Chuck Norris (Scientists have now discovered that we all know there is no such thing). Eventually they figured wearing hunks of metal and leather might absorb some of the impact of Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick, perhaps even enough to survive. They called this new invention 'Armour' (Europeans).

'Armor' failed miserably, but they discovered it was rather effective while fighting fellow mortals, so they decided to keep it and expand upon the idea. Eventually this would lead to the invention of modern day objects such as:

• Tanks
• Walls
• GWAR
• Bullet-proof Sweaters
• Paladins
• Grunge Music

[edit] Types of Armor

[edit] The Shield

This type of armor is worn when activities involving balls are conducted.

The Shield is a slab of steel or wood one holds in front of oneself to block a sword, a punch or a Kamehameha attack. Another effect way to use a shield is to throw it at your enemies face in hopes you will, well, hit them in the face. Shields are effective at protecting against arrows, spears, and magic missiles. Sheilds, though neat, can actually damage your family's lungs! BEWARE!!!

[edit] The Helmet

Also know as the Bascinet, is a hat but much larger, metal-ier, and bad ass looking. See also: Helmut

Famous Helmet wearers:

• Ben Roethlisberger
• The Black Knight
• Special Ed
• Bob the Builder
• Zobby Zob Zob AKA Grim Raper

[edit] Body Armor

This is what Chain Mail looks like when worn correctly.

The armor worn around the body, Sometimes referred to as mail. Body armor has many practical puposes, such as wearing for the sake of looking cool, tasteless statues for rich people who don't understand elegance and wearing for the sake of not getting owned by Jer3my1337sk8er's Soul Eater of Doom Cross Blade + 5 .

[edit] Under Armour

Invented as a substitute for deoderant.

[edit] Classes of Armor

In battle when the situation calls for it, the military uses a tactic called Meat Shielding. Soldiers pair up and play Rock, Paper, Scissors to determine who is the Meat Shield

Different types of people at different levels wear different classes of armor. Below are a few common examples.

• N00bs: Cloth, Crude Leather.
• Veterans: Half-plate Bronze and Steel
• Africans: Wood (suprizingly effective)
• Football Players: Thick Plastic and Flimsy Metals
• Dragon Warriors: Kai Energy
• 1337 Paladins and Knights: Full-plate Mythril
• You: Cardboard and Duct Tape
• Your Mom: Many Layers of Fat
• Godzilla God knows...
• A box cardboard with holes for breathing!

[edit] See also

• Weaponry
• Captain America
• Captain Canada