Art Students

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Art students (Arr-stuu-Dents).Aesthetics.

This race has existed since the dawn of time.They prowl around darkened cellers listening to Rock Music,Indie or whatever poems Matisse has just wrote.Their Creed is usually some existentialist-life is oh-so melancholy-we're all so rebellious,yet persecuted bollocks. They traditionally wear black leather jackets(even in summer) and paint covered skinny jeans.Intellectual haircuts(those of reasonable fashion allowed to grow out just enough that they are no loner in fashion)which are alot of the time badly dyed.


The typical Art student has many gods.Mostly tragic parables for how they believe a true artiste lives.Some of these all foreseeing wonders are listed below:

Vincent Van Gogh Go-Go,Tragic figure..spent his life emerged in Art,Alcohol,hookers,mental wards and lack-of-earness.After selling one painting,for a pint,He then decided to start on a music career,with grunge rockers nirvana, until finally(after a lengthy heroin addiction and meeting Yoko Ono) shooting himself at the age of 27,Joining the hallowed..I left my ear with my hooker girlfriend Club.

Edvard Munchies,Tragic Figure..spent his life emerged in Art,Death,Depression and eventually death.He Was the definitive Fifth Beatle.He won the title after beating Stuart Sootycliffe to death with Astrid kitchenners camera lens(After painting the scream).After Sutcliffe stole some of his paintings after traveling back in time due to being to arty for his own good.The mantra chanted by his disciples is the scream is over rated,though it's psychoanalysis does show the disillusion with the human condition

Stuart Sootycliffe,Tragic figure..spent his life emerged in Art,loss,Headaches and the constant need to wear sunglasses(so he looked cool).He attended the Liverpool Art school(and the one in Hamburg),and is seen as the maverick who stole Edvard Munch's painting for his own personal shrine(Stuart was a Munchies-ist)and discovered the talent all Real artists have,I.e to travel back in time due to their own melancholy and artiness.Stuart suffered from constant debilitating headaches, which followed him throughout his life.Till he was beat to death by Munchies,wielding his girlfriends camera lens.


In the Art school world there are sects.These sects tend to be aggressive to one another by flicking paint across the classroom.Unless you are a Dadaist(Anti-art) then you flick paper.

These Sects are very different, yet very alike..for instance..surrealists and impressionists.Surrealism, is well, surreal with bright colours and unreal qualities,Whilst impressionism is like looking at things with cataracts.Mind both are Art.

Conceptual artists(Con art)and the Dadaists have always banded together as really their just out to annoy the fine artists.Many A war has broke out in the art school halls over this.Blood and paint,lest we forget.


The Art School War of Glasgow is 1968 has never been forgotten in art folklore.Fifteen lifes were taken by paint bomb in this terrible expression of classism in art Culture.The nineteen sects (Expressionists,Dadaists,Impressionists,Cons,Fine,Cubists,Surrealists,Photo-realism,Ectra) tore the living hell out of each other by means of paint,charcoal and many other materials.

This induced government legislation banning the use of artistic materials between 1968 and 1989, unless government approved..which explains the shit art in the 80s.


Art students are a fickle race..and to integrate yourself into their culture you must no at least one Artist..and know their history obsessively.Use this Artist as your God/Goddess, but beware Art students draw you sure not to end up as one of them,or you are doomed to life of attic studios and paint covered jeans...oh and buy a battered leather jacket out of a second hand shop,if it's new you will not be accepted.Art Students despise money as they all say they are leftist and say it's capitalist bollocks.Until they cant afford the rent.