Ashley Pico

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Ashley was a stand-in for TOm Selleck on Magnum P.I.

Ashley Pico is an actress on 24 and Lost. She also is the Antichrist, meaning she is the complete opposite of all that is good. On top of this, she grows moustaches extremely fast.

Pico's Prenatal Period[edit]

Before Ashley was born, she was given only one sonicgram. Of course, this sonicgram proved that Ashley had the charactersitics that would one day lead her to greatness.

Pico's features were prophetic of her fate.

When Ashley was born, all of the magicians across the world died simultaneously as their heads burst open, spewing brains, guts, and coffee around their dead bodies. his was the first sign Ashley was the antichrist. By the time Ashley was 8, she weighed 679 pounds, so she was forced to go to fat camp.

Before she trained under Bem Stiller, Ashley nearly became a fat lesbian.

It was here that she lost 555 pounds, giving her that self-confidence to try on that little black dress. She became a master seductress, seducing even the most manly honorable man to ever grace this Earth.

Ashley Pico. Oh, no. THis isn't Ashley, but Jeff Brooks saved fifteen percent or more on car insurance by switching to Geico.

Ashley's Rise to Power[edit]

When Ashley got older, she decided to run for President. However, she decided to do this in an unusual way: she assassinated the whole adminstration and put herself in the White House.

Ashley fucking shoots George Bush. This act could have possibly led to his death.

While in the White House, Ashley became a virulent man hater, sending most of them to concentration camps except for her true love, David Cross.

The last man on Earth was this man. Ironically, when women said, "I wouldn't sleep with you if you were the last man on Earth," they weren't kidding.

Ashley ruled the United States with an iron fist for over 80 years until she was shot in 2097 by Aquaman, who turned out to be a woman as well.

Ashley is assassinated after Aquaman gets a vagina.