Asian Mafia

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The Asian Mafia[edit]

The Asian Mafia is a very screwed up mafia run by a bunch of geeky asians. Therefore, more than 81.78646865... percent of the hits ordered by The Boss are complete and total failures that end with a meeting at the local sushi bar. This is both good and bad. Good because you get to eat raw fish on rice like any normal Asian, but bad because you're going to get food poisoning from eating mercury-injected tuna.

How to get in[edit]

There are several qualifications to be considered Asian, or else you are not allowed in:

First, you are only 'Asian' if you can be blindfolded by dental floss!

Second, you are only 'Asian' if you have memorized pi to the 20th place!

Third, you are only 'Asian' if you have skipped two grades and are still not challenged enough in math class!

Non-Asians can be admitted if they follow the rules of supreme Asian-ness.

1, you must tie your hair in a sumurai hairdo until all of the Asian's in the mafia have laughed their asses off at you.

2, you must prove that you are just a nerdy and weak by memorizing pi to the 35th place.

Of course, no sane person would want to do that, so there have been loop holes in getting in.

Loop holes[edit]

The easiest is to have an arranged marriage to The Boss and then kill him, thus you are now the head of the Asian mafia. <Insert evil laugh here> Or, you can stalk some poor Asian sucker, jump him, threaten him with a rubbber chicken, and then take his place in the Asian Mafia. These are just two scenarios, but if you have any ideas that you believe would be better just call 1-800-STALK-A-ASIAN.

The Order[edit]

In all Mafia's you need to have an order of things. Like the Circle of life, but in this case, you don't die. You just get sumo slammed to the ground or you get your head stuffed in a toilet by The Boss.

The Circle of LIfe, Asian Mafia Style:

The Boss

The Bosses Wife(s)

The Body Guards

Sushi(Not the raw fish)

The Violent Asians

The Crazy Anime Asians

The Stalkers

The Crazy Polish Dude who is Violent by Association

Dirt

Annoying White Boys who think their Asians