Atheist Doctrine

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Atheists believe in the Goddess Athe, who is wise and powerful beyond measure. They are some of the most religious people in the world.

Contents 1 Overview 2 Background 3 Atheists, an examination 4 Other Atheist Doctrines

[edit] Overview

Athe is the supreme Goddess of Atheism. She exists, but does not want anyone to know, and will actively kill anyone who says that She does... Oh no! Spare me, Atheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Her full name is Athe Nogod Antichrist (acronym Athena, who is also the goddess of civilization, specifically wisdom, weaving and crafts). This is why all Atheists are wise, creative, intelligent and sit at home all day folding twigs. She also has a sister called Antithe and a twin sister named Athena who share the same mother Hera. She used to be the Greek goddess of skepticism, and worked with Athena goddess of wisdom, but decided to form her own religion, or non-religion as it were.

Because of Her contributions to the Atheist and the worldwide society, She is thought to be in hiding in a cave somewhere in the vicinity of Uluru, Australia, to escape Her popularity and assassination attempts by the Vatican. (They believe, falsely, that Athe was only the 'renegade' creation of the 'Christian God'.)

[edit] Background

Very little is known of the behaviour of Athe, for she was mysteriously left out of the tales and myths of the old Greek gods, despite concrete evidence in the form of mysterious carvings on Atlantis that she attended one of their orgies. Athe still claims that those carvings are the result of Carvingshop, an Atlantean fluffyware technology that allowed editing of previously carved stonography.

She is credited with numerous inventions, such as:

• The Christian God
• The Holy Pie
• The Burning Sheep

Note: She is often thought to have created the world. This is untrue. The world was created by her elder sister, Antithe, who was high on crack, acid, and heroin at the time.

[edit] Atheists, an examination

Communication in any form (i.e, prayer, holy writings) is considered the highest form of heresy because it is presumptuous and foolish to try to contact one so high and mighty.

It is a popular misconception that Atheists lack belief in any god. This is incorrect. (Those people are 'scientists'.) Atheists encourage belief in this misconception, as it stops religious zealots from destroying their top-secret headquarters at Atheru (also known as Uluru) in Australia. In fact, Atheists, afraid of eternal damnation, will go as far as to tell other religious peoples that they are idiots and that they would be better off believing in nothing, as they supposedly do.

Atheists gather their knowledge in a series of visions that can take anywhere between one minute to one year. It is most often the case that the longer it takes to receive a vision, the brain damage you have suffered. You cannot receive any visions at all until you have paid your tithe, and have reached at a minimum the -san level of immaturity. Those with less intellect than a snail may incorrectly interpret the vision as coming from the Christian God, and will force you to become a born-again Christian.

[edit] Other Atheist Doctrines

Heliocentrism

Buddhism