Atlantic Canada

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Atlantic Canada is populated by about 20 or so slobbering cookie monsters, most of them disillusioned paranoid-schizophrenics, maybe.

History[edit]

No one would actually live in Atlantic Canada. It was originally populated as the default dumping-ground for participants in the Dalhousie radioactive treatment program, carried out by the dinosaurs in the early pre-Oprah paleozoic period. Moose had a prominent role in this misdirection. Moose has yet to be reprimanded for this irresponsible behaviour. Nevster however, tried to smooth the whole thing over by being really gay. Most were appeased. Some even turned gay themselves.

Policy[edit]

Residents of Atlantic Canada may stay within the borders as long as they conform to the intricate social norms of the majority (or hold a special lifetime pass). Single females get in free, as long as they have a pathetic excuse for entering. Onion soup is the national flower.

The Residents[edit]

  • ooPo - He IS cake. "Just One More! PLEASE!". Let's face it. You can't have just one. Please give to the starving Ethiopians.
  • AcidGord - Pumpkins were named after this man, this LEGEND. He created bisexuals. He is always naked. Don't be alarmed. This is normal.
  • THE DOCTOR - When you have an ache, there's only one guy to call. The Doctor can cure all what ails you. Especially the hunger for the cock.
  • Toxic Flange - Outlawed in the 1760's, this is the last living flange of the toxic variety. Avoid if possible.
  • Grunties - Lupus Yonderboy. Donated 10 inches of his penis to history. Like pogos. Hates playa-haters.
  • Anti-Elvis - The Peon of all Peons.. the Anti-King. Wished for huge tracts of land, but she's moved to Australia.
  • Grey Fox - Sly motherfucker. Likes shooting vanilla and sailing the south media seas. Has a tattoo of a nipple on his left arm.
  • Desert Penguin - Only in the dead of night doth the desert penguin stir. Get too close and you'll be spotted. Nothing worse than that, seriously.
  • Craig - A photographer, a mediographer. Left alone he would dominate himself. Balance is achieved through socialization. Gravity too.
  • Jaeger - Jaegermeister. The brains of the operation. Need to foil the scheme? Need to beat the odds? Need to avoid the capture? This is your man.
  • The_FOO - A native of Philadelphia, he invented a rare form of radar called Baydar, useful in small bodies of water than open to the ocean.
  • DaJa - She came from the fjords of graceland, educated by The King himself. She knows a good BBQ and a good ceiling. Do not tempt or attempt.
  • Hurricane - Like a grizzly bear in stature, like a kamikaze in determination, this panda-like animal will tear your arm off if you breathe wrong.
  • Marcus - Resident moviestar. He's been on the cover of Vouge (in the form of a skintone lifted from a picture of him that just happened to match the left breast of Sarah Michelle Geller.) Respect.
  • EmuMatte - Failing to properly attain Emo status, he makes his living as a poorly emulated Moby. Beware the cardigan of doom, and buddy-holly-glasses of demonslaying.
  • Leanne_Eh - EH?! The Anger! The Fist! Maintaining a 20' Distance is suggested, to avoid succumbing to her sphere of angst. Nuts about balls.

See Also[edit]