Australia: The Movie
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Australia: The Movie is an upcoming film about how one bastard out of Sydney found life, love, and everything in between. Tim Allen stars as Bobby, a bloke from Sydney who travels cross-country to find his kidnapped girlfriend Amy (Jessica Alba) who was kidnapped by mob boss Mista Big (David Hasselhoff). Bobby finds his kidnapped girlfriend Amy at Mista Big's headquarters in the Australian Outback. Bobby then kills Mista Big with a shot to the head with his trusty AK-47. Bobby then rescues Amy from Big and then he sets up a bomb at Mista Big's HQ and blows the HQ the fuck up. Bobby and Amy then drive out from the explosion with a Chevy Corvette and Bobby then drives to a remote beach somewhere on the south coast of Australia and then Bobby and Amy have rough anal sex on the beach that night. But all of a sudden, Mista Big's friend, Cueball comes out from the bush and shrinks Amy down to 18 inches tall and kidnaps Amy. Cueball picks up the shrunken Amy and with his jetpack, Cueball flies into the night sky. Bobby tries to shoot Cueball 10 times but he misses. Bobby then sobs loudly and then Bobby looks up at the sky and screams: "I'LL FUCKING GET YOU FOR THIS CUEBALL, I SWEAR TO GOD, YOU WILL PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" . Then the screen goes to black and then a "To Be Continued" caption appears and then THE CREDITS ROLL.................
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[edit] Reception
Los Angeles Times film critic Jack Jones says about the film: "Tim Allen proved that he's more than the faggot on Home Improvement and Jungle 2 Jungle. He did a kickass Australian accent in this movie, and in addition he also fucked Jessica Alba up the ass in this movie. I give it two thumbs up, seriously."
Former U.S. President Bill Cosby says about the film: "Finally, that honky motherfucker Tim Allen made a good film. Tim Allen got to fuck that half-spic bitch Jessica Alba up the ass in this movie. This is a good movie to see, because as everybody knows, Australians are basically white Mexicans with british accents."
[edit] Availability
This movie can be rented at Blockbuster and it can be bought at Best Buy for $10.
[edit] Everybody Knows That...
...Australians are white Mexicans with british accents: FACT.
