Avoda Zara

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The official body of water of Avoda Zara, Mikvah Pond. Not much to look at, is there?
Official languages Engrish, Hebrew, 1337, and Phoenician
Motto: Shalom Aleichem, fink!
Capital Avera
Head Idolator Unrabbi Mel Brooks
Established June 22, 1864

The State of Avoda Zara, founded by disgruntled Jews, is part of the United States of America.

History[edit]

The state of Avoda Zara got its start in the mid-19th century when a bunch of Asherah worshippers and Ba'alists got tired of being picked on by rabbis and nattering ninnies. Sooner or later, of course, plenty of Jewish Buddhists and Jews for Jesus joined in the fledging movement. For a time they tried posing as a Reform temple, but the fledging Reform movement, liberal as it was, pushed it away, saying the group wasn't sticking to Jewish principles. Furthermore, Jews and Christians kept attempting to run the movement's people out of town: they were expelled from New York, New Jersey, and various other somewhat Northeastern states before they hiked over the mountains and founded what was first known as "Liberty" (in 1864, when the Civil War was brewing and nobody was paying attention) and, subsequently, "Avoda Zara" (in 1867). The name sounded kinda nice to those rebels against standard Judaism, so they figured, why not make a new Torah and do away with anything and everything? While mainstream Judaism considers "avoda zara" ("foreign worship", or idolatry) a great big sin, those rebels figured that the Establisment was merely being a bunch of nudniks, and, besides, it was what everyone had in common. Avoda Zara applied for state status several times, but the Federal government turned them down each time (due to complaints about idolatry), until the corrupt administration of Rutherford B. Hayes snuck the state in by bribing Congressmen in 1880. Nobody had the heart to kick the state back out, as that had never been done, so the State of Avoda Zara was here to stay.

In subsequent years, Avoda Zara invited Madame Blavatsky proponents, Neopagans, Extremely Reform Jews, Satanists, Shintoists, Scientologists, Marijuana Worshippers, Druids, and more Judeopagans, as well as anyone wanting to start their own religion. Not surprisingly, the capital of Avoda Zara is named Avera, the Hebrew word for "sin". In spite of this, most Avoda Zarans are pretty nice people.

Nowhere Near Hell[edit]

Rumors among certain Jewish sects claim that Avoda Zara is next to Hell. Residents of Avoda Zara, however, point out that it takes a pretty long drive (or even airplane flight) in order to actually go to Hell from there.

The current Guv'na of Avoda Zara is Mecha Streisand, and the King (His Oyveyness) is Santa Claus.


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