Avogadro
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To be confused with Avocado.
Avogadro? You're looking for him? He's dead, and even if he was still alive, nobody has ever wanted to know anything about him. The only stupid thing for which he's remembered is his complete absence of brain. Oh, sure, and for Avogadro's Number.
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[edit] Name and Profession
Avagadro's full name was, Lorenzo Romano Amedeo Carlo Avogadro, conte di Quaregna e di Cerreto. He was a homeless bum who only became notable by counting the letters in his name (6.03x10^23). Some how people got the idea that he was a physist when he clearly wasn't
[edit] Avogadro' Number
was forged once upon a time by God, and it represents the minimum number of persons that a Grue has to eat daily to maintain his Gruesomeness.
Avogadro tried to find the exact amount of this value but unfortunately he failed. His system was conceived to save human lives, so he tried to feed a Grue using little pancake men, but the only result was that the Grue got pissed off and fed himself of Avogadro's flesh.
In recent times, the famous alchemist-magician Bario Draga has successfully calculated the value of this number using an extraordinary and completely new approach to solve the problem. In fact he used his part-time teacher position in the University of (Bois de) Boulogne to get the necessary number of victims to sacrifice to a Grue: those of his students who preferred to put themselves in the mouth of a Grue rather than attend another of Draga's lessons. According to what he has found, the approximated value of Avogadro's Number is (6.02)1023.
On top of this, being the screwup he is, Avogadro couldn't even get this number right exactly, having lost count around (4.03)1013.. Tests are constantly done to make this number more accurate, but who cares? For the rest of eternity, high school teaches will just write it as (6.02)1023.
This led to another extraordinary scientific result: the value of Avogadro's Number is fractionary! This is known as Draga's Theorem, and his brilliant proof consists of just asserting that 6.023 is not a natural number, but an artificial one. Q.E.D., bitches.
Historically, Avogadro's number has helped many nations win wars. The Vatican warriors in the American Civil War used Avogadro's number to kill Confederates and eat their slaves. The George W. Bush administration used Avagadro's number to predict that Iraq had weapons of Mass Desruction (WMDs). It obviously is a useful number.
In pop culture, there is a rumor that if you say or listen to Avagadro's number backwards, the devil will call you a lazy dumbass who wastes too much time.
[edit] Birth & History
Avogadro was born in Turin, Italy, on 9th August, 1776 as a delicious fruit, an Avocado if no one figured it out. He soon managed to solve his way out of the plant, and sped up his evolution by drinking 6.03E23 L of Shnapple so he transformed into a mutated Duck like being named Jamal. Jamal spent most of his life building a boat so he won't get wet, because if get wet he will asplode!!! eventually after realizing his short animated clip/memior (titled the 5th Avocado) wasn't funny he turned torwards science with his Monkey friend who had ADD named Billy (who didn't achieve nearly as much fame as Jamal Avogadro)!!
Avogadro's only achievement was discovering Avogadro's number. Avogadro's number helped predict the breeding patterns of Moles. Back then it was very difficult to breed Moles, so his number helped the desperate farmer breed his mole.
[edit] Death
Ironically, he died when visiting a Guaca-mole plant when one of the workers mistook him for an Avocado who enjoyed breeding moles and crushed him into a delicious vat of Guaca-mole.
