Awkward Turtle
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“ I spent nearly 4 days discovering this to have this jackass steal it from me.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Awkward Turtle
Contents |
[edit] Intro to the Awkward Turtle
So have you ever been sitting in class and had those awkward silences or really awkward moments? Well here at UPT (University of Pointless Things) we have designed the Awkward Turtle. This was invented by PC Lauinger
The Awkward Turtle was introduced to LaSalle Springs Middle School by Derrick McLard.
It was also spread to Lenape Valley by Kelly Baron, who is also credited with taking it nationwide at the National Youth Leadership Conference, 7.28.07. She also created the drawn-out cry of Awk-werrrrrrd turtle! which so often punctuates the introduction of the gesture.
[edit] Performing the Awkward Turtle
To perform an awkward turtle there are three simple steps to take.
- Place hands on top of each other, palms down
- Move thumbs out and away from the hands
- Rotate the thumbs.
And thats it! Now there are many times when the awkward turtle is completely neccesary. So lets go over the Do's and Do Not's of an awkward turtle.
[edit] Do's and Do Not's of an Awkward Turtle
Do Not's
- Awkward Turtles are not just used randomly to be your face.
Honestly it's really dumb when people think it's funny to just put their hands on top of each other and move the thumbs around. It is a serious device that is intended for a practical use.
- Never allow anyone to talk down the Awkward Turtle*
Sure it may seem as a dumb concept, but this is a serious matter that works in any awkward position. We encourage everyone and anyone to spread this around.
Do's
- The 30 Second Rule
In order to allow for an effective AT(Awkward Turtle), we must have a time measurement to determine an awkward moment. This is where the 30 second rule comes into play. You must allow 30 seconds of either awkward silence or pure awkwardness to perform an AT. (see also awkward to determine what is awkward)
- When 30 Second Rule is Met, Perform an AT
Pretty self explanatory. When you reach 30 seconds of awkardness/awkward silence, it is time to perform an AT
- AT is for Everyone
Anyone is allowed to do this, don't just limit it to the "in crowd"
[edit] How to Acquire an AT
Now you may be wondering, "Wow, I want to use this great invention, how do I acquire it?" Well, its rather simple. Most people think a great thing like this will cost millions and millions of dollars, but this was made under new technology called IFT (Instant Free Transfer).
[edit] Instant Free Transfer
This is the means of getting AT. The way it works is that you do nothing! It's a great freeware program developed at UPT. All you have to do is simply learn how to do AT and you get it! No renewal or fee! However, you are subject to removal of the AT if you do not follow the above rules, or make an arse of yourself.
[edit] In Closing
We'd like to thank you for supporting the AT and its idea. Mainly we would like to thank the following people:
- Marty McFly
- "The Enigma" Jeff Williams
- Peter Griffin
- The Bradies
- (Mainly Marsha for being better than Jan)
Disclaimer:This is in no way a direct copy of the Awkward Lion, Lima Bean or Platypus. All Rights Reserved by UPT.
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