Axel
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
| At the moment this article appears to have no redeeming value and so is a candidate for deletion. If this article isn't improved in 7 days it may be deleted. However, this article may have potential and with expansion it could become fit to stay. See UN:NRV for improvement tips. Please don't remove this notice unless the article has been significantly improved. If you would like to dispute the placement of this tag, please follow these instructions. Not following them may have severe consequences. This Template placed on --Nightmare975 04:03, 11 March 2007 (UTC) (Admins: Check time stamp) |
 PIECE OF CRAP WARNING!This page is a piece of crap. (A very good piece of crap.) The Kickass/Awesome author acknowledges this fact.
|
Axel of Kingdom Hearts II is a sexy bitch. He was originally born as Lea McSexipants but after an incident involving a molotov cocktail and a barn full of hookers, he changed his name to Axel.
Axel has a tragic speech impediment which causes him to say 'Got it memorized?' after saying a statement that might need extra memorization. This impediment has made countless individuals so pissed off that they kick him in the shins repeatedly. Axel is now impervious to kicks in the shins.
Axel's current boyfriend is Roxas (who is also his best friend). Even though this might be considered child molestation in some states, in Kindom hearts, it's deemed perfectly acceptable.
Roxas and Axel are engaged to get married in Las Vegas this summer.
[edit] The Mystery of Axel's Hair and Tattoos
“God dammit that hair's sexy...”
~ Roxas on Axel
It is commonly thought that Axel's hair is so insanely spiky from the overuse of hair cement.
This theory is absolutely incorrect. Axel's hair is actually so spiky from lack of personal hygiene. Axel washes his hair approx. every 1,000,000,000 years. His 'hair cement' is actually his own natural hair oils. His hair is such a bright colour because of all the virginal boy's he has slayed.
The tatoos on his face are obviously NOT tattoos. Since Axel has such poor hygiene, the "tattoos" on his face are actually dead bugs. Yummy, no?
