Axiom of the omniscience of the Internet

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The axiom of the omniscience of the Internet is a controversial scientific theorem which in its most widespread form states that:

 Everything written on the Internet is true.

Since its original formulation in 1793 (in the Chinese calendar) by the esteemed theoretical physicist Anonymous it has, along with the Axiom of choice and the Pythagorean theorem, constantly been among the most disputed scientific theorems in the incredibly dull world of science. In his Nobel Prize acceptance speech George W. Bush said about the axiom of the omniscience of the Internet that it is "either with us or with the terrorists".


The traditional wording of the axiom directly leads to the following sub-statement:

 Al Gore is a fucking penis.

When this fact was pointed out at Mensa's 51st Annual Pie-Eating Contest in Denver, the axiom of the omniscience of the Internet immediately lost most of its support (although Al Gore seemed to adopt a more positive attitude towards the axiom). In recent years, however, the axiom has experienced a rise of popularity due to increasing stupidity among the younger generations, when compared with the older, cleverer generations.

Use in science[edit]

The axiom of the omniscience of the Internet is extremely useful for any physicist or mathematician as it provides a straighforward, automatic method of proving even the most ludicrous shit. For example, the theorem "she sells sea shells on the sea shore" - crucial to scientific areas such as string theory and yourmomology - would be proved in one easy step: by uploading it on the Internet.

Nevetheless, troubles arise if one accepts the axiom. One of the paradoxes most often quoted by opponents of the axiom is that if everything written on the Internet is true, it is inevitably implied that all your base are belong to us.


A number of well-known scientists such as Professor Frink, Niels Bohr, and Tupac Shakur have expressed support of the axiom of the omniscience of the Internet. On the subject of the axiom Stephen Hawking has, too, been quoted as having said: "WTF?"

Opponents of the axiom include dogs, you, and the author of this completely unbiased article.