Uncyclopedia:Best of

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Contents 1 Featured articles 1.1 2009 1.2 2008 2 Runners-up

Here you will find a list of the very best Uncyclopedia has to offer. Below are articles that have been featured on the front page, or almost featured on the front page, and various articles considered to be among the best on Uncyclopedia.

You may also wish to see the voting page for more articles.

You may also want to check out the Top 10 articles of 2005, 2006, 2007 and 2008.

Random featured article:
Failure University (try another)

[edit] Featured articles

The best of the best. You can vote for your favorite articles to be featured.

[edit] 2009

AIDS (Space Program) (10 May) Abnormality (1 February) Akira Kurosawa (14 June) Al Gore (5 March) Albanian interpretationalist cinema (29 May) Alfred Hitchcock (15 April) Allahakbarries (27 February) Amanda Steele, Action Cop (28 February) Andrei Tarkovsky (18 April) Antbortion (5 June) Assassins from the future (30 January) Aunt Ginny’s Saturday afternoon lunch at Bob Evans (20 June) Baldrick (1 April) Balloon Animals (15 June) Billy Graham (21 June) Billy Mays (22 January) Boer War (25 June) Bomb Shelter (16 February) British Moon-landing (19 June) Brooke Shields (4 September) Brothel (24 January) C-3PO (13 June) Cactus (16 April) Cardboard Box (23 February) Category:My sojourn (20 January) Cheerios (8 August) Childhood: an essay (1 July) Chuck Norris (U.S. accountant) (8 January) Chutes and Ladders (24 August) Claude Debussy (3 June) Clementine Attlee (14 August) Colin Powell (14 February) Confession (Catholicism) (17 January) Creationist Views on Australia (19 February) Crescendo (4 August) David Lynch (25 March) Dear Diary (7 June) Douche (29 March) Dragon Warrior (8 April) Drill sergeant (18 February) Driving in Bucharest (16 March) Dune (27 January) Dungeons & Dragons: Real Life Edition (25 July) Dwight D. Eisenhower (23 March) EDSAC (1 March) Economic Collapse Barbie™ (10 April) Edvard Munch (6 January) Elevator (13 February) Failure University (27 June) Fake announcer voice (6 August) Fan service (12 July) Firefly (23 August) Free lunch (26 May) Gazelle (15 May) George W. Bush's Weekly Presidential Address: Week of January 25th, 2009 (12 February) Give a shit (28 January) Godzilla (4 July) Godzilla vs. Vaginus (11 September) Great Britain (25 May) Guide to a Postmodernist Art Exhibition (22 August) History of Google (6 May) History of New England (2 July) HowTo:Be A Damsel In Distress (31 January) HowTo:Be An Honest Crook (24 May) HowTo:Be a Douchebag (4 April) HowTo:Breathe (20 August) HowTo:Build the Perfect Sandcastle (7 May) HowTo:Fix the Economy (15 February) HowTo:Get Over Jenny (14 April) HowTo:Subsist on an all-OREO® diet for the rest of your life (20 March) HowTo:Survive a Baby (7 July) HowTo:Write Good (24 March) HowTo:Write Serj Tankian Lyrics (5 May) HowTo:Write a Stephen King Novel (18 July)

Humphrey Bogart (22 July) Hydrogen (23 April) Hyper Text Coffee Pot Control Protocol (13 April) Hypochondria (10 March) Ingmar Bergman (20 April) Inland Empire (21 March) James Bond (character) (19 March) Jesus Christ, who brought that guitar? (19 January) Jesus stole my girlfriend (21 August) Jim Jarmusch (8 July) Joe Namath (20 July) Joseph Conrad (2 May) Karl Lagerfeld (12 April) Kingfisher (8 May) Kinsey Report No. 3: Sexual Behavior in Hamsters (19 May) Kosher Nostra (9 August) Lady-Gardening (26 June) LazyTown (16 July) Let Someone Else Do It (15 August) Lord Sauron (31 March) Lyre (28 August) MF DOOM (9 April) Make Poverty History (16 January) Mastodon (9 September) Metal Gear Solid (25 February) Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty (28 March) Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater (22 May) Mrs. God's blog (10 July) My visit with Aunt Myfanwy (1 January) Neurotic (26 March) Number Bases (6 September) Nursery (27 May) Orion (12 August) Pat Garrett (9 June) Perestroika (28 June) Peyton Manning (12 June) Pie Chart (24 February) Pious Christians Against Shellfish (18 August) Plink (11 April) Poetry (26 January) Pre-decimal British coinage (5 January) Printer Ink (20 February) Prison Break (17 June) Private Eye (8 March) Psyché (1 September) Punk Floyd (19 August) Quentin Tarantino (27 August) Red Lobster (20 May) Robert Shaw (12 May) Rush Limbaugh (CPAC speech) (14 March) Scary Movie (21 January) Scatomancy (11 March) Scrub typhus: the geographic distribution of phenotypic and genotypic variants of Orientia tsutsugamushi (28 April) Seal Clubbing (11 May) Sergio Leone (5 August) Six Hats (10 August) Snow White (18 June) So you thought that using the Euro as currency would be all fun and games? (15 March) Star Trek Online (26 February) Stone the Israeli Tank (28 July) Strategic Stereotypical Australian Reserve (3 May) Tapheselachophobia (16 May) Teabag everything that moves (26 April) Test Match Special (16 August) The Bourne Pottery Class (2 June) The Dice Man (26 August) The Fat Girl (29 July) The Female Drivers' Guide to the Road (American Version) (9 January) The Great Gig in the Sky (2 August) The Popularity of War (23 July) The defense rests, your honor (3 January) The fact that you don't want a poodle (27 April) Tool (band) (3 August) Tradesmen (25 April)

Trogdor the Burninator (21 April) UnBooks:A Conoisseur's Guide to Dishes on Endangered Species (2 September) UnBooks:A Day In the Life of Armond White (22 June) UnBooks:A Guide to the American Roadside Attraction (29 April) UnBooks:American History! (9 May) UnBooks:An Authentic Journal of Travelers on the Oregon Trail (3 September) UnBooks:Daddy, There's a Zombie in the Garden (15 July) UnBooks:Great Abridged Pop Songs (24 June) UnBooks:Hospital (29 January) UnBooks:Hot Japanese Girls - Colourblind or Unable to Speak English? (2 March) UnBooks:Jonathan Livingston Chicken (29 August) UnBooks:Michael Phelps Makes Me Sick (26 July) UnBooks:So Your Wife Wants To Become A Minister (And Other Solutions To Your Daily Problems) (25 January) UnBooks:The Autobiography of Jesus of Nazareth (3 July) UnBooks:The Digital Divide (15 January) UnBooks:The Lost Introduction to Walden (3 March) UnBooks:The Nearly-Chaste Mormon's Guide to Quitting Masturbation (21 July) UnBooks:Travels Through the Tropics (9 March) UnBooks:Uncyclopedia Brown and Wikipedia Brown solve the mystery of the missing smugglers and their hidden cave or something (11 June) UnMovie Review: Watchmen (with special guests, the Watchmen) (22 April) UnNews:2008: Year in Review (12 January) UnNews:Beethoven isn't deaf, he's just ignoring his girlfriend (8 September) UnNews:Chuck Norris on secularism: the single greatest threat that America has ever faced (6 March) UnNews:Dinesh D'souza on the real problem with Newtonism (5 April) UnNews:I Am Not An Al Gore Denier - Richard "Dick" Lindzen (17 March) UnNews:Is the Government doing enough to appease the Sun God? (14 July) UnNews:Jim Carrey to star in Liar Liar 10 Year Anniversary Edition (4 January) UnNews:Louisiana Governor brazenly taunts volcanoes (18 March) UnNews:Man wakes up (17 February) UnNews:Michael Jackson dies! Also Farrah Fawcett (29 June) UnNews:Obama overturns Bush stem cell policy; plans clone of himself (30 March) UnNews:Obama unveils education reform plans (24 April) UnNews:Point-Counterpoint:Is Obama smart to bring back the era of big government? (4 March) UnNews:Political extremism on the rise in animal world (1 May) UnNews:Recession forces Santa to relocate (13 January) UnNews:Recession now affecting time itself; one hour lost Sunday (12 March) UnNews:Spector leaves Republican Party: They're not who I am anymore (8 June) UnNews:The God Interview (13 July) UnNews:Vampire hunter confused by ancient writings (22 March) UnNews:Wolverine hits the big screen (13 May) UnScripts:An interview with an Egyptian taxi driver (4 June) UnScripts:HMS Potatore (13 August) UnScripts:Heartbeat 2012 (5 July) UnScripts:Pixar: An Introduction for Uncyclopedians (30 August) UnScripts:Song of the South (23 January) UnScripts:Star Wars (2010) (17 August) UnScripts:The Creature of Planet Cheese (17 May) UnScripts:The Device (28 May) UnScripts:The Rapid And The Ragey (21 May) UnScripts:Trapped at Sea (17 July) UnScripts:Unromantic Comedy (6 June) UnTunes:I Like Cats (The Other White Meat) (10 June) UnTunes:Still Hurting (6 July) UnTweets:George Peterson (9 July) UnTweets:Mr McElroyLand! (14 May) Uncyclopedia Madness (24 July) Unfomercials:Uncyclopedia Krazy Kemistry Set (23 May) Unquotable:Keanu Reeves (16 June) Vietnamese dong (13 March) What I did on my hols (25 August) Why?:Do a Pee Review (14 January) Why?:Don't You Get a Job? (18 May) Why?:Hit yourself on the head with a baseball bat seven or eight times (7 April) Why?:Is my molten steel bill so high? (10 January) Why?:So Serious? (7 January) Why?:Watching a marathon of House, M.D. while you're sick is not a good idea (3 April) Wikia Inc. Corp. Ltd. (31 August) Wild Bill Hickok (11 July) World Wildlife Fund (27 March) World of Warcraft (19 July) Writing (23 June) Xanax (27 July) Yellow (1 August) You should talk about ponies - A letter to Bill Richardson (17 April)

[edit] 2008

A Guide to Snark Hunting - An Edwardian Gentlemen's Companion (16 October) A bunch of aristocrats fucking. Awesome vid (3 January) A-level (3 November) Academia (4 January) Al Capone (20 April) Alien vs. Predator (11 January) All of the Above (10 March) America (2 March) America is the best!!! (15 June) American Dream (24 March) Andy Rooney (28 November) Ant (12 April) Are you colour-blind? (24 September) Art That Looks Like Nothing (18 August) Awkward Conversation (23 July) BBC Wireless 4 (27 November) Bacon and Cheese Sandwich of 1905 (8 January) Battle of the Sexes (16 April) Battleship Potemkin (19 May) Begging the question (28 August) Break Up Letter (14 January) Bubble Wrap (4 June) Bucephalus (2 October) Campaign Leaflet (14 April) Canadians: A Retrospective (30 November) Cell biologists are cooler than molecular biologists (14 October) Charles Lindbergh (9 March) Cis-zeatin O-beta-D-glucosyltransferase (6 June) Color Me Badd (10 September) Conservapedia (14 March) Consolation Prize (17 June) Creepy (29 October) Creepy guy who lives across the street (20 October) Custom Degrees (9 May) Cyanide (27 April) David Bowie (9 July) Defender of the Clown (8 May) Democrazy (21 May) Dishwasher (8 June) Double Entendre (27 September) Drugs (28 March) Dude (19 February) EPIC FAIL! (13 February) Edward the Gibbon (25 March) Enid Blyton (5 November) Erogenous Zones and Difficulties in Overcoming Finding Them (24 June) Eurovision Song Contest (24 May) Everything is great (4 August) Examples of Bias in Conservapedia (3 March) Faggot (6 October) Ferdinand von Zeppelin (18 May) File 8AO4F: The God Case (4 March) Fish Puns (24 October) Fourth Wall (20 June) France (8 October) Fuck the world (7 June) G Rated Talking Animal Movie (5 April) Game:Oliver Twist (10 May) Gemini (6 September) Gerry Cheevers (7 October) Get Some Mortgage (4 October) Getting pushed into bananas (Mario Kart) (19 August) Goldfish (26 September) Goldilocks and the Three Bears (13 July) Golf War (13 December) Grim Reaper (21 October) Guinness Brewmasters (23 June) Harry S. Truman (23 May) Hillyard & Brickman Corporation (30 March) Hippies (4 July) Homing pigeon (31 March) Hong Kong Feng Shui (28 January) Horatio Hornblower (11 March) Hot indiscriminate sex (18 July) How To:Survive a Japanese Game Show (30 August) HowTo:Be A Supervillain (18 September) HowTo:Become Stupid in 21 days (26 April) HowTo:Boil an egg (22 September) HowTo:Drive a train (16 September) HowTo:Get Around In A Fighting Tournament (30 June) HowTo:Hear a Picture (5 January) HowTo:Hotwire a car (20 September) HowTo:Learn Guitar (22 July) HowTo:Love me (15 November) HowTo:Mail a Letter (1 January) HowTo:Play the Skin Flute (31 January) HowTo:Pronounce Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (2 June) HowTo:Rob A Bank With Your Penis (12 October) HowTo:Show your appreciation for the band Led Zeppelin (20 March) HowTo:Turn Your Terminator On (3 August) HowTo:Win an Argument (26 October) HowTo:Write A Funny Band Article (14 June) HowTo:Write An Article That Stands No Chance Of Featuring On Uncyclopedia (4 September) HowTo:Write the Great American Novel (19 July) Humanity: A Retrospective (12 January) Hyperdrinking (21 March) I don't appreciate your attitude towards my potato chip situation (9 January) I lost your pet ferret (21 February) If you loved THAT, you’ll love THIS (17 February) Igor (20 December) In Confidence We Walk: Upton Sinclair's Keynote Speech to the National Writer's Consortium, 1943 (1 March) Insomnia (6 July) Interpretive Death (29 September) Iron Maiden (18 December) Isaac Newton (26 August)

J'accuzzi (27 October) Japanese High Schools (13 June) Jerry Falwell (15 May) Jew Claw (2 August) Jimmy the Cowboy (27 December) Just pennies a day (23 February) Kitty porn (30 May) Lake Spooky (27 March) Laura Ingalls Wilder (3 September) Lewd Acts of the Apostles (14 August) List of people you do not want to come face to face with in a narrow hallway (26 March) Lysol (20 August) MSN Messenger's Guide to Manners, Proper Behavior and Slapstick (2 May) Main Page (1 April) March of the Penguin Brothers (24 February) Marie Curie (22 February) Marijuana (28 October) Megadeth (16 August) Melville the One Trick Pony (24 July) Michael Bay (13 November) Miles Davis (13 May) Misquoting Jesus (13 April) Mordor Jalapenos (5 May) Mousetrap (25 September) Much Ado About Nothing (26 January) NASA (23 October) Necrophiliphobia (15 July) Observational Comedy (7 November) Otter (15 April) Pacific War (24 January) Paradise Inc. (29 April) Paris Hilton (18 March) Pawnography (16 December) Perfect Disaster (10 June) Physics Act of 1707 (24 August) Physics doesn't exist, it's all about Gnomes (9 December) Playstation 4 (17 August) Please delete this page (19 March) Polish Inquisition (29 February) Pond Whales (5 August) Pontius Pilates (22 October) Pop Bomb (9 June) Pre-Market Economy (7 May) Prince and the Revolution (11 April) Pripyat River (15 August) Public service announcement (3 June) Pyromaniac (4 May) Rafael Nadal (22 June) Rashōmon (17 October) Regent University (14 September) Robert Mugabe (26 July) Robin Hood (9 August) Romance novel (5 December) Rough Pubs (14 February) Royal Pointless Military Things Tournament (25 April) Rule of Three (9 October) Sania Mirza (22 August) Sarah Plain and Tall (7 August) Scat (14 May) Schindler's Listcruft (12 July) Scrawlings of The Artist as a Young Drunk (22 March) Selective Inbreeding (15 March) Spontaneous Combustion (21 July) Star Wars (Japanese Opera) (28 May) Status Quo (21 April) Stoner High School (2 April) Taft Punk (30 July) Thanks for buying our product! Now, fuck you. (29 July) The Bunfight at the OK Corral (18 October) The Critique of Pure Reason (21 September) The Daily Show (30 April) The Dog Dies at the End (3 May) The Gathering Horror (21 August) The Incredible Adventures of MS PAINTMAN! (19 September) The Men in Blood-Stained Overcoats Who Stay Out of Sight, Waiting For Just the Right Moment (5 October) The Millennium (22 December) The Muffin Man (23 March) The Old Country (16 June) The Phallic School of Architecture (21 June) The Pun Invasion of Uncyclopedia (11 September) The Siege of Bordeaux (28 February) The white guy in All-4-One (1 June) Thermopylae (18 January) Thomas Aquinas (29 January) Thomas Hardy (2 January) Thou (2 July) Threads Of Our Existence: Excerpts From the Secret Writing Journal Of F. Scott Fitzgerald (23 April) Titshugger Penishead McFucknutter (16 March) Tony Visconti (28 April) Traditional Values (26 June) Truthful Vending GmbH (18 February) Turing Duck Test (11 June) Two Humps (16 July) UnBooks:A Day In The Life Of A Redirect (10 July) UnBooks:A Story, About a Man, that Comes to an Eventual Conclusion (14 July) UnBooks:An Uncyc Ban Diary (13 October) UnBooks:Backstreet Abortionist's Handbook (20 July) UnBooks:Beep (10 August) UnBooks:Captain's Blog (27 August) UnBooks:Fischer Price (21 January) UnBooks:Frédéric Chopin's Guide to Better Lawn Care (5 September) UnBooks:Gone With d' Wind (15 February) UnBooks:Great Abridged Literature (21 November) UnBooks:Ill Met By Moonlight (7 July) UnBooks:James Brown's Chicken Soup for the Soul (30 January)

UnBooks:Life as a 4⅝ Year Old (25 February) UnBooks:My New Life as a T-Rex (5 June) UnBooks:Official Informational Guide to the 2008 Beijing Olympics Games (6 March) UnBooks:One Hundred and Seventy Three Haikus About Stuff; Mostly Office Supplies (Annotated And Abridged) (8 July) UnBooks:Polar Express (11 October) UnBooks:Ronnie James Dio's Big Book of Nursery Rhymes (1 October) UnBooks:Surgical Phone (22 January) UnBooks:Tarquin Middleton: My Battle with Depression. (11 May) UnBooks:The Frogs (6 August) UnBooks:The Last Little Pig (7 April) UnBooks:The Night I Slept with Björk (3 July) UnBooks:The Tale of Captain Petey Widdershanks Blunderbub Shaleweather Monkeyturtle Johansen III, Buccaneer Extraordinaire (13 March) UnBooks:The True Story of: Jimmy and the aliens; based on a true story (7 March) UnBooks:The secret diary of Andrew Murray, aged 20¾ (29 June) UnBooks:Travel Guide For All Countries (5 March) UnBooks:USA ROCKS! (1 May) UnBooks:Vincent Van Gogh's Things To Do on a Rainy Afternoon (6 January) UnBooks:Who Killed God? (8 September) UnLegends:The Land Where The Sun Shines Not (6 May) UnMovie Review: The Dark Knight (7 September) UnMysteries:A Tissue Of Lies (28 July) UnNews:"Hungry Hungry Hippos" celebrates anniversary (8 April) UnNews:"WWJD?" leads to unfortunate end for local layabout (19 November) UnNews:Aftershock from Chinese earthquake knocks over American glass of water in "major tragedy" (29 May) UnNews:Apocalypse-expecting cultists come out from cave (17 May) UnNews:Area 51 opened to public (29 August) UnNews:Astronauts starting to suspect no one is coming for them (23 November) UnNews:Cancer is racist (11 November) UnNews:Corrections (30 September) UnNews:Dewey Defeats Obama (9 November) UnNews:Galactic Empire raises terror alert level to orange (25 August) UnNews:God Rewrites the Bible (1 September) UnNews:I have taken hostages (13 August) UnNews:Infomercial finally convinces area man to pick up phone, call now (25 October) UnNews:Irish voters get it all wrong (18 June) UnNews:Joe Schmidt "only good driver in the world!" (18 April) UnNews:John McCain calls for War on Bears (15 September) UnNews:Man forgets 9-11 (12 August) UnNews:Massive stadium brawl breaks out over contemporary solipsist philosophy (6 April) UnNews:Militant atheist decides her car keys never existed (7 December) UnNews:Movie character fails to heed helpful advice (3 October) UnNews:Nature Now Rated NC-17 (25 June) UnNews:New Range of Low-Tech Personal Music Players Released (31 December) UnNews:OJ Simpson found guilty, sentenced to fifteen years in a resort hotel (29 December) UnNews:Obama selects cabinet, still undecided on bookshelf and coffee table (3 December) UnNews:PBS facing lawsuit after The Count's televised drunken profanity (19 June) UnNews:Presidential candidates devote all remaining funds to one voter (19 October) UnNews:Scientists devote massive funds from cancer research to production of an 'orgasmatron' (8 August) UnNews:Six Flags to sell severed legs in gift shop (20 January) UnNews:Something Wicked This Way Comes (24 April) UnNews:Strange "white stuff" falls from sky, America baffled (13 January) UnNews:Study reveals 1 in 4 teen girls has an STD; America congratulates teen boys on sexual exploits (17 March) UnNews:Survey on apathy cancelled due to lack of interest (12 March) UnNews:The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants angry about misrepresentation in movie (23 September) UnNews:Tobacco picketing found to be addictive (7 January) UnNews:Washed Up 70's Rock Band touring to promote new album (16 May) UnNews:Would-be-hero fatally defeated by common slime (1 July) UnNews:You Are Reading This Headline; About To Click On It (27 January) UnNews:Your family died (27 June) UnPoetia:Show Me Your Tits! (16 January) UnScripts:All Mixed Up (27 May) UnScripts:Average Cop (4 April) UnScripts:Genesis, Episode II: In the Garden of Eden (31 July) UnScripts:Grass in the Mist II (25 January) UnScripts:Heinous Dan (17 April) UnScripts:Noah's Ark (8 March) UnScripts:The JFK Shootout of 1963 (26 February) UnScripts:The Symposium (17 September) UnScripts:To'Romisha (10 April) UnTunes:Bobby Brown Goes Down (PMRC Edition) (28 September) UnTunes:I Am The Very Model of a Crazy Fundamentalist (17 January) UnTunes:Monkeys and Footballs (27 July) UnTunes:White trash girl (12 September) Uncyclopedia Health Service (16 February) Uncyclopedia:No Reading Articles (3 April) Unidentified man in green firing turret (25 May) United Nations Charter (19 January) Universe (musical) (2 September) Use a Coaster! (26 May) Veteran (31 May) Virginia Tech Massacre (10 October) Voter Information for the 2008 US Presidential Election (23 August) Walpurgis Night (11 August) What Would Jesus Do? (11 July) Why?:Am I a Power Ranger? (13 September) Why?:Blame Hitler (20 May) Why?:Burn a Furby? (22 April) Why?:Buy a Cereal-o-Matic (19 April) Why?:Do I Like Tango and Cash? (25 November) Why?:Do I have a drug dealer on my buddy list? (9 April) Why?:Does Christopher Meloni not have an emmy yet? (20 February) Why?:Don't You have a Girlfriend Yet? (31 August) Why?:Eat your broccoli (17 July) Why?:Get a tattoo of a tarantula on your face (27 February) Why?:Have Humongous Breasts (23 January) Why?:Is There a Moose On This Plane? (17 November) Why?:Save the mooses? (10 January) Why?:Take Your Fish To Work (29 March) Why?:Trade Your Family's Only Cow For Magic Beans (22 May) Why?:Use a wooden condom (12 January) Why?:Won't that damn CD player play my vinyls? (12 June) William Gladstone (5 July) World War IV (12 May) ☃ (24 December)

[edit] Runners-up

Quasi-Featured Articles which were nominated for featured article status but only received a moderate amount of support.

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