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Looking for a career in computers? Anyone can take advantage of BTEC extensive range of courses.
I have never been so angry in my life.
For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about BTEC.
Cquote1.png My BTEC in Advanced Bread Making Techniques has enabled me to pursue my lifelong career goal, working the nightshift in a morgue. I can't thank you enough BTEC! Cquote2.png

A BTEC is an acronym, meaning "Basic Time Elimination Course" and is generally viewed as an ideal course for someone looking to waste time. This course almost always results in getting nothing done. Lecturers are chosen at random, mostly for their skills in wardrobe malfunction, unique perspectives on personal hygiene, STEALING YOUR MONEY and skillsets with no link to the course curriculum.

The BTEC is aimed primarily at single males in their early 30s who are trapped in jobs within higher education or the IT industry.

It is also a preparation for white males to accept their fate as the nations underclass, and is effective in training slaves for dead end office jobs.

==Example :BTEC National in Business Studies

Cquote1.png Today we are going to sit in front of the computers and complete the intellectually stimulating task of writing a CV. You are here to do two years of this shit just to get the piece of paper that will enable you to get a slightly better job than you would get with your terrible GCSEs. Now get to the computer and tell me what a Job Description is! Cquote2.png

General studies include:

  • Unit 3: Learning the lyrics to every song on your ipod
  • Unit 5: FUCK MY LIFE
  • Unit 1 : Spelling your name
  • Unit 2 : Lecturing to death
  • Unit 2 : Writing a header
  • Unit 4 : Using spellchecker on Word
  • Unit 90 : Watching the clock
  • Unit 77 : Coming up with stupid theories on how to make businesses more effective... LIKE A 23 YEAR OLD FEMALE IS SOOOO GOING TO HAVE THE KNOW HOW TO DO THAT.
  • Unit 6 : Hating your life
  • Unit 893 : The challenging task of Writing a CV
  • Unit 52 : Having like 3 lessons in some days.
  • Unit 734 : Sitting in lessons, messing about on computers.
  • Unit 51 : Applications of completing san andreas, fo sho'. If he can pass in the Army we are all FUCKED

Further Examples of BTEC's[edit]


  • Do not think of death when you walk into the college.
  • Do not become emotionally unstable
  • You will become more ghetto as the course develops.

Results gained even if student doesn't pass:

  • Burning hatred towards the Government.
  • The key to the city of Douche Central
  • Complete understanding of a point in history for example: vikings or nazi's
  • Complete understanding of sharks
  • Watched the whole of Youtube
  • Start changing words to foreign equivalent
  • Sudden urges

BTEC continue to be trailblazers in the field of specialist advanced learning qualifications, including the following:

  • BTEC National Diploma in lobbing shit at the walls
  • BTEC National Diploma in throw the Magnum to my head
  • BTEC National Diploma in slit my wrists and end this bullshit
  • BTEC National Diploma in Death By Choice
  • BTEC National Diploma in up-dating this page
  • BTEC National Diploma in getting around the block sites in college
  • Btec National Diploma in telling dipshits around you what the teacher just fucking said
  • BTEC National Diploma in working out how many years older your teacher is than you (Min: 3 years max: 5)
  • BTEC National Diploma in reading about history and how you can turn evil as well
  • BTEC National Diploma in working out if "Am i depressed?"
  • BTEC National Diploma in Plotting murder
  • Btec National Diploma in MSN
  • BTEC National Diploma in planning your own suicide (mocp)
  • BTEC National Diploma in looking at the clock until you finish
  • BTEC National Diploma in Common sense (commonly known as a BTEC National in Business Studies)
  • BTEC Diploma in 'Do you want fries with that?'
  • BTEC Diploma in applied cheese
  • BTEC Diploma in applied physics in the world of dead or alive
  • BTEC Diploma in science in the world of dead or alive
  • BTEC Advanced certificate in umpiring crickeut matches
  • BTEC Super hyper mega advanced degree in speaking 'straylian.
  • BTEC Dipoma in solving Wikistress
  • BTEC Diploma in finding new ways to vandalise Wikipedia
  • BTEC Advanced degree in drawing with crayons.
  • BTEC Basic Diploma in Taking sweeties from strangers
  • BCTE avnced dilopma ni dylseixa
  • BTEC so-so diploma in EMA farming
  • BTEC Underwater Diploma in annoying Cthulhu
  • BTEC Demonic diploma in avoiding graham
  • BTEC diploma in watching hunterxhunter
  • BTEC How not to keep track of important government discs containing lots of benifiting public documents
  • BTEC Diploma in wanting to die when ian talks about wires for like two hours TWO FUCKING HOURS
  • BTEC Diploma in wanting to die when paul talks about networks for like two hours TWO FUCKING HOURS

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