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Protestant Black Pope Xena accompanied by her steed and Papal Consort Gilliam.
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Selected anniversaries

February 16: Abolition of Human Rights Day (South Africa), International "That's what she said!" Day

1792 - Frenchmen celebrate new Rights of Man by beheading people they disagree with.
1861 - American Civil War begins with argument over whether black people should be owned and mistreated or just kicked around and mistreated.
1917 - The Russian Revolution begins in Soviet Russia.
1924 - Human Rights abolish Soviet Russia.
1937 - Wallace H. Carothers receives an enema after realizing that a thick thread of nylon was not a substitute for a dick.
1949 - Nineteen Eighty-Four published. It was a book written to commemorate the upcoming first year of the alienation of human rights.
1968 - The endless war ends.
1985 - Nineteen Eighty-Four is "unofficially" taken out of circulation. This move was entirely the publisher's choice, and had nothing to do with the government.
1989 - Tonka wins contract to supply China with toy tanks to run over protestors.
2001 - The endless war is revived under the name "War on Terror".
2006 - All human rights cease to be meaningful in the United States as the Republican Party legalizes the hunting of humans. Cheney gets first shot.
2006 - George W. Bush abolishes human rights in the United States of America. NSA uncovers the body of George W. Bush jr. in a mason jar together with some pickles which they then ate.
2008 - General Grievous starts smokeing menthols..... Quickly changes back to reds.
2007 - Cheney wipes out all Democrats in the White House with his shotgun. Dismissed as a hunting accident.
2009 - George W. Bush is trampled to death by a heterophobic gay horny rhino on a visit to Nigeria.
2010 - 'The War on Terror' is re-named 'The War on people looking at you funny'
2011 - You read this blurb of text.
2345 - Dick Cheney has sex with a horse. Centaurs are born.
2395 - Cheney Centaurs roam the earth wielding shotguns and shooting everyone in the face in various hunting accidents.
9595 - Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past travels back in time to harass you.

Archived Anniversaries

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Word of the day

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In the news

Donald Trump tells Republican candidates: You're fired!

US, Turkey agree to complicate IS situation

Rising cost of elder care forcing more families back together

Pluto is disappointingly predictable (pictured)

OMG did you see George Osborne writes for UnNews?

George Osbourne: help us reform the welfare state

Military drills will come to your town soon

Neil Young takes music off Spotify
Buckingham Palace: we were all Nazis back then

Hot dogs are choking hazards; your whore mother is dead

How our porn tastes have changed

Five cut out and keep comments for your social media life

Cats support Trump for president

File:LLL

More Current Events at UnNews News

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Did you know...

...that Twilit Parasite Diababa is a giant enemy plant that comfortably resides at the bottom of a dungeon in a pool of acid?

...and that Link must defeat it before it wreaks havoc on the uninhabited dungeon behind its heavily locked door?

Do you care...

...that in 2001 George W. Bush passed the No Child Left Behind Act, which forbids soldiers in Iraq from leaving their children behind?

Read More

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Recent articles

Writer and Noob of the Month

GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.

Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many ~~months~~ years to come!

It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!

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Babel:Fp

Today's Featured Article - Ceiling Cat