Babel:OW

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search

“Special guest star/singer Alicia Keys

Welcome to The House of Pomegranates, the collection of short stories that is intended neither for the British child nor the British public.


Oprah Winfrey has inspired us to work on 46,119 stories and plays since opening in January 2005.

Before modifying any of Oprah Winfrey's works, please read the Help:HowTo and Oprah-acceptance manual.

Browse:

Stories | Delightful People | Abnormal People | Quite Quaint | Coherent
Oprah's Picks | Straight Index | Works in other Genres...


Oprah Book Club's Chosen Article

Today's Featured Article - Ceiling Cat

Recently featured:

Extension:DynamicPageList (DPL), version 3.2.1: Warning: No results.

Yesterday's Featured Article -

Extension:DynamicPageList (DPL), version 3.2.1: Warning: No results.

You can suggest articles for Oprah to read.

More of Oprah's picks


Why was I born with such contemporaries?

February 17: International Gay, Lesbian, Transexual and Bisexual (GATTICA) Day.

  • 28 BC - Jesus informs his disciples that he's gay. They all laugh at his little joke and proceed to gangbang Mary Magdelene.
  • 29 BC - Mary Magdeline is found in a dark room with lipstick all over her face, abusing herself in a mirror.
  • 2001 - HAL 9000, a homophobic computer, attempts to kill two gay dudes on a spaceship. Hilarity ensues.
  • 2004 - People named Gaylord are rapidly asked if they have ever watched the television show "Gaylords say no". Most say no.
  • 2006 - You finally forget about your miserable Valentine's Day, only to be tormented by this reminder.
  • 2008 - USA bombs some country because one of its citizens made some USA guy get STDS.
  • 2009 - Rabbit ears are officially obsolete in America. By law, lagomorphs across the nation must upgrade to sonar.
  • 2009 - John Prescott is violently molested by a fanatical Pavarotti obsessive
  • 2009 - John Prescott is discovered at the corner of downing street in a corset and fish-net tights attempting to whore himself out to passing single parents. He is quickly put back on tranquilisers, ceasing all higher brain functions and allowing normal command of the country to resume
  • 2019 - Denmark is officially recognised as a mistake and erased from history
  • 2040 - all world languages are revoked and replaced with American, a language consisting soley of words with one syllable or less
  • 3010 - Iraq War resolved to the saisfaction of all thanks to the complete absence of Iraq.

The history of the United States of America (Red White, and Blue!

The one duty we owe to history is to rewrite it.


PlutoInColor.jpg


















File:LLL


Today in Chicago


It is a very sad thing that nowadays there is so little useless information, so did you know...

From Uncyclopedia's Alicia Keys:

  • ...that I am a schizophrenic?
    • ...and so am I?
      • ...me too?
        • ...shut up Frank, you're not even supposed to be here today.


Read on

This Month's Wit

Writer of the month.png
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


Noobaward.png
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


BePrepared.png
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!



Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


Uncyclopedia's sista projects

Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects.
UnNews Logo Potato (No text).png UnNews
The news source on crack
Uncyclopedia Uncyclopedia
The content-free encyclopedia
Undictionary Undictionary
The ick!tionary of all things best left unsaid
UnTunes UnTunes
Where noisy things can live and prosper
Game-Logo notext.png Games
Another way to waste time
Gorillatrans.gif HowTo
Instructions and guides for anything and everything
UnBooks UnBooks
Content-free books
Unquotable Unquotable
Useless misquotes galore
Uncycloversity Uncycloversity
If it makes sense, we don't want it
UnPoetia UnPoetia
Poetry for people who hate poetry
Undebate logo.svg UnDebate
Debating all the irrelevant issues
UnScripts UnScripts
We can ruin stage and film too
Why.svg Why?
Don't make me explain it to you twice
UnReviewsLogo.png UnReviews
We'll tell you why things suck
Uncyclomedia Commons notext.png UnCommons
Broken media repository


Uncyclopedia Languages

The original Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains just under 30,000 articles. This mirror Uncyclopedia contains 46,119 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages:
United Kingdom
Uncyclopedia
English
United Kingdom
30649
Desciclopédia
Português
Brazil
35457
アンサイクロペディア
日本語
Japan
16220
Nonsensopedia
Polski
Poland
Wikia 20323
Nonciclopedia
Italiano
Italy
Wikia 12328
Italy
France
Désencyclopédie
Français
France
Wikia 7257
Inciclopedia
Español
Spain
Wikia 8775
偽基百科
正體中文
Taiwan
5328
Uncyclopedia.de
Deutsch
Germany
Wikia 5520
Hikipedia
Suomi
Finland
6804
Finland
Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on August 12, 2011.
If you find the Uncyclopedia mirror or its sista projects worthy, please consider making a donation to help the victims of the War on Terra:

For Oprah-related chatter, see this room to talk about Oprah.

Protected by Oprah's wit, and an elite clan of peasantry.