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“Badmonton is like a prostitute, the idea is, is to bang cocks as hard as you can.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Badminton

“Tennis was made for pussies that like balls. Badminton was made for pussies that like cocks.”

~ (Insert Random Planet Name Here) Williams

“If Badminton was made for pussies that like cocks, then Baby badminton was made for pussies who hate babies.”

~ William Shakespeare in respones to (Insert Random Planet Name Here) Williams

Badminton was invented in 1832 for the tennis players who preferred the use of cocks rather than balls evident in tennis.Especially the hoes that loved to give blowjobs in a game of tennis got tried of licking balls so they wanted to play with cocks as well, thats why 'shuttle cocks' came to being

Today's Game[edit]

Woodcut of Victorian gentleman repairing his equipment

The racquet used in today's modern game has rather confusing origins, as well. As noted earlier, it was not part of the original pirate game, but evolved from the snowshoes used in the game of Tennis as played by Eskimos -- in which baby seals were beaten with said snowshoes. Due to some confusion when more "civilized " rules were being developed during the late 1800's, racquet was mistakenly taken from Raquetteer (another word for pirate) to describe the snowshoe which had been redesigned by Thomas Edison whose innovations included removing the straps and using lighter violin string rather than the weightier whale intestine.

Sadly, much information about this pastime was lost when the copy of the rules created during the 1800's were destroyed by raiders during the Mexican-American War, and it is suspected that more current versions are highly corrupt, as the rules since then have only been passed on via word-of-mouth by drink-sodden suburbanites.

The aim of the game is to beat the cock - he who beats the cock the fastest usually wins and hence the prize for winning at the end of the game is a soggy biscuit.

Those who beat the cock also suck the cock and screw the cock. In general, they are just big fans of cock.

Badminton (once known as the Sport of Kings) has faded into obscurity as more and more countries, under urging from human-rights organizations such as Amnesty International and the World Health Organization, have passed laws against its practice and it is now only played in highly illegal underground arenas. When questioned, players only respond with the esoteric "There is only one rule: Don't talk about badminton club."


Malaysia, Indonesia, and China are the most dominant suckers that has swept all of the major trophy but still cannot qualify for the World Cup soccer tournament. China especially, created lots of sex maniac to masturbate during any competitions mainly their women players. they don't only suck cock, but even better than it, it's the horse cock. Male players such as Lean-Done (China), Lee Cock Weak (Malaysia), and Christina Aguilera (Indonesia) are among the champs who already done the most challenging part of the game, "The Hardest Ass Smash". And now all of those countries are preparing for the olimpique 238097598238 game which will be held at Rom Empire back 234598690345687 trillion years ago.