Bambi
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“HA HA! Your mom's dead!”
~ Everybody on Bambi
“Bambi's mom is hot!”
~ Simba from The Lion King on Bambi
“Bambi freakin scares me!”
~ Hulk Hogan on Bambi
“There's nothing to be afraid of, it's just a deer”
~ You on Bambi
“OMG!”
~ Your friend on you after you aproached Bambi
Bambi is an evil, evil, deer who was born on August 13,1942. He is the Supreme Overlord of Nature and the leader of the Terra Army. This deer is an evil genius and should not be crossed under any circumstances by underqualified personell. This film is largely based on a true story. While Bambi was recovering from his alcohol/drug tendencies, he was interviewed for this film. Bambi was disapointed with the outcome of the film, saying it was largely fabricated (e.g. Thumper was a sucka). Bambi eats his own poo and they throws it at Thumper. Bambi is a mean FAG! Willt Bobfuntpants in an interview said, qoute, "Bambi is a gay and stupid movie with a bunch of crap added into to it." He gave is a 1.368875 out of ten.
Bambi Woods, best known as "Debbie Does Dallas", is the voice of Bambi.
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[edit] Plot summary
This is a perfect example of how wild animals and the environment get in the way of progress and devlopment. In the movie Bambi and her mother are hunted and persicuted for their beliefs about such things as mentioned above. Therfore it is decided that the forest must be burn down to rid the world of these pesky intruders of Manafest Destiny. They diserved to die the cruel deaths that the did due to the fact that they could not bow to the will of man.
So Bambi's mother dies because of continuous sun burns due to the ruthless son of a bitch that is global warming, as well as from a gunshot to the head. Bambi grows to be a prince and his father also dies of the same reason (gunshot). As more animals continue to die, Bambi sets out on a journey and, with the help of Stuart Little, eventually reaches New York City to talk to the Pope (of New York?) about environmental issues and animal problems, but Spider-Man tells them that the Pope actually lives in Rome and would take him there but he has to go have sex with Mary Jane (what the fuck?). After blowing everything on coke and cheap jack-shacks, Bambi has no money left; in disgust and sorrow (partly at the composition of this article), he gets into the habit of drinking. He later gets mad at Stuart and feeds him rat poison buried in a cheese burger from McDonalds. So Staurt dies and Bambi gets raped by a hobo. And this article continues to suck.
[edit] The Beginning of Bambi
Bambi is not a deer. He is a schizophrenic evil cannibal dwarf created in the labs of disney. They are sick bastards at Disney. Nobody knows this because the scientologists have brainwashed most of the world including YOU! The death of Bambi's mother is based on the death of Adolf Hitler. That is why you can clearly see the nazi symbol tatooed onto her ass before she dies. Bambi becomes a nazi aswell, later in the film. If you would like to create your own schizophrenic evil cannibal dwarf then email gullible@i-eat-shit.com or watch blue peter to know all the secrets of the world!
[edit] Bambi and Hitler
Bambi and Hitler have been enjoying a successful relationship since 1985.Hitler supplies Bambi with special genocide units and Bambi disguises the fact that Hitler is still alive. The name Bambi is thought to have come from the Italian word Bambino, which means little boy (Bambina is the femanin). However, this is bullshit because the name Bambi really comes from the fact that he kills animals and people (this is where the Bam part comes from the sound of death, most notablly the sound his mother made when she died).
[edit] How Bambi Came To Complete and Utter Dictatorial Power
Bambi began his journey to complete and utter dictatorial power over all living creatures (apart from people, who are too smart to fall for those cheap tricks)over several years.His entirely mad aims that nonetheless are masquerading under the disguise of being are just and righteous quest (despite the fact that it obviously isn't that kind of a mission) started off with the non-tragic murder of his mother,Bambi's Mom. Then,Bambi proceeded to go on a crazy rampage and place the animals in a rule of evil which only one of the smart animals escaped to tell us humans of how the forest was gripped in an un-justly organized rule of terror.
[edit] Official Government Files on War on Terra
"Bambi" is a highly dangerous subject, and the leader of one of the main factions of the Army of Terra. He is quick-tempered and one of the members of the most dangerous species ever. He reportedly has WMDs (Whales, Mollusks, and Diatoms) in his arsenal, despite the fact that his main base is in Nottingham Forest and therefore far from any large body of water. This subject has high-grade Terra defenses (a large forest, with enough rain fall to prevent Forest Fires and high-level border patrol units to guard against tree harvesting damage. Nuclear weapons are recommended.
[edit] Subliminal messages
Bambi has been critizised for having so many subliminal messages. One of them can clearly be seen when he meets thumper. It advertises Halo 3 and says "Buy or die!". Other messages include "help the Nazis", "pepsi tastes like shit compared to coke" and the most persuasive one "*XXX PORN 2DAY OUTSIDE XXX*. (If you would like to include your own subliminal message in Bambi 2 then please send $6000 to me. Clinically proven to boost sales by 3%!!!!)
[edit] Rivals
Mr. Men is Bambi's rival. It all began when bambi pulled out her dual uzi's and pumped steaming hot lead into Mr. Retarded. The Mr. Men retaliated by stealing a crate load of panzerschreks and killing every disney characters family. The most recent battle ended with bambi being shot in the leg and Aladdin dying after throwing a grenade at his own feet. The final battle is tommorow at 14736289329000000 hours pm in the white house. Most of the Mr. Men have died in battle and only ones left are Mr Clever, Mr Veteran, Mr anal-bum-hole and Mr mister.
[edit] The previous sections are all LIES!
Bambi is a peace-loving deer who loves everyone! Just ask his wife, Faline. She'll tell you how great he is. He helps anyone who asks for it, including Thumper and Flower, in bed.
Bambi would later marry Tiger Woods and become Bambi Woods. Miss Woods would later "do" Dallas as a cheerleader named Debbie.
[edit] Units Qualified To Approach Bambi
- Level-5 Ninja
- Carriers
- Anyone with a plasma cannon
- Bambi's Mom
- YOUR MOM
- James Bond
- Diplomat v.8.0.7.2 or later
- Animals
- Hitler
- Black Label Society
- Satan
- Dora the Explorer
- Anyone who is invulnerable
- Grue
- Master Chief
- Uncyclopedia Admins
- Rambo
- Chuck Norris
and
- NOT YOU
[edit] External links
- Bambi's Official Documentary Page
- Training video stolen from Bambi's HQ. Actually made by humans. Don't worry, they're being tortured as punishment safe now.
