Barnaby Joyce

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~ John Howard on Barnaby Joyce
For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Barnaby Joyce.
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The Barnaby Joyce is a rare type of jellyfish exclusive to the coastal waters of Australia. It is best known for its ability to walk on land and impersonate a vertebrate for periods of up to eleven months at a time.

Vertebrate impersonation[edit]

Barnaby Joyces have a reputation as the chameleons of the jellyfish world, based on their ability to hydraulically inflate their lappets to approximate the shape hands, feet and teeth, and thereby adopt the form of other animals. Celebrated blogger Sigmund Freud noted that Barnabies appear to have a strong preference for taking a vertebrate form, theorising that they suffer from spine envy. However, the consensus among biologists is that this behaviour is part of an elaborate mating ritual.

Only verified case[edit]

Barnaby Joyces have for centuries been a popular element of sea lore. Writing in 1492, Bluebeard said of Barnabies, "Arrrrrrr! In me travels I seen many a Barnaby taking the shape of a comely young sea maiden, has I, has I."

The as-yet only certified specimen of a Barnaby Joyce was discovered in October 2004 after it was washed up on the shores of outback Queensland, before walking to Canberra and taking up residence in the Australian Parliament, where it has since remained. The Barnaby in question quickly became the major tourist attraction in Canberra, and was known for its wide and eclectic variety of colourful impersonations, ranging from a lovable bulldog through to the Pope. However, this spectacle was short-lived, as the Barnaby reverted to its original spineless form in September 2005. The Barnaby remains in Parliament House, where it continues to wow onlookers with its impressive backflip routines. Hollywood's shallow 2D depiction of a Barnaby can be seen in the X-men as the Senator.