Battle of Sesame Street
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The Battle of Sesame Street was a brief but bloody battle between the good guys, the bad guys and the bad guys. It occurred in 1997
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[edit] Events prior to the battle
The Battle of Sesame Street is one embedded with intrigue and subterfuge with lots of violence, this is a notable event in the sense that a film has not been produced about the event
[edit] Rise of the Gang
With the rise of the Sesame Street Gang (SSG) in the area starting to eat away at the Mafia, Triads, and Yakuza, which by the way don't exist, it was believed that a power change was imminent.
The Sesame Street Gang had the perfect cover, their stint as entertainers during the day allowed them to be gangsters at night, and since Muppets don't need sleep, it worked well.
Various members took on various roles in the gang:
- Elmo - a fluffer in the gangs porn industry, also directed and cast the stars.
- The Count - The assassin of the group, due to his vampirical abilities and OCD he killed but was never caught. Was declared 'dead' in 2003 but was unconfirmed.
- Oscar the Grouch - The pimp.
- Aloysius Snuffleupagus - Also known as 'Snuffy'. The muscle of the gang. Addicted to heroin which made him fight for longer. He is occasionally known as the bad ass of the group after raping Pamela Anderson and Angelina Jolie. Snuffy also raped every MILF in New York.
- Grover - Head trafficker of drugs, and salesman. Sold anything and everything under the sun, and the sun itself
- Kermit the Frog - Drug trafficker, also an investigative reporter. Continuously used 'media spin' to take the gang off the spotlight. Also was a "Deep-Throat" about the case.
- The Cookie Monster - Addicted to 'cookies'. Also part of the muscle of the gang. The promise of a 'cookie' now and more to come makes him a formidable opponent.
- Big Bird - The Brains. Believed by some to be a loner, he was the puppeteer of the gang, bending the wills of those around him.
- Bert and Ernie - The bodyguards. Bert was known to be paticularly violent, infamously killing Mr.Hooper in 1983.
- The gang was also known to have many local street gangs at hand in case numbers were needed.
Their power grew and continued to grow it was starting to bring fear into even the toughest gangster.
In October of 1996, a prominent member of the Bloodhound Gang was murdered outside a shop called Hoopers. Bert, a detective at the time, and also a member of the gang, was placed in charge of the investigation which was declared a suicide, with the pathologist noting:
“A most remarkable suicide, 32 stab wounds to the back, and a shot to the left temple, remarkable considering that the person in question was right handed”
~ Pathologist
This enraged nearly everyone and Bert was discharged from the NYPD.
[edit] The Meeting of the non-existent
Late December saw a meeting of the gangs of New York. Those that existed and those that 'didn't'. The meeting found the risks of the gang and their threat to the other gangs in the area. It was found that they were too much of a threat to let lie.
The decision to start opposing them at every turn was reached. Squabbles between gangs were put aside as they decided to fight against this threat. However some gangs, most notably the Sharks and some smaller local gangs decided to declare their allegiance to the SSG.
Those opposed were known as Opposed to Sesame Street Gang, or OSSG Those allied with the gang went under the banner of Sesame Street Allies, or SSA.
[edit] The First Attack
The New Year saw the first attack happen. A joint team of Yakuza and Triads attacked a Drug Warehouse belonging to the SSG. Although none of the main players were there, the destruction of the Warehouse set back the SSG's drug production threefold. A loss of about US$20.7 Million. The gang didn't take this lying down and made an attack on the Triads infamous gambling ring.
The attack on January 7 was vicious and a reported 78 innocent civillians were butchered.Several Triad bosses were also among the dead.After the gang stole all of the casinos money,they burned them down with lighter fluid.
After weeks of skirmishing, the first attack on the street itself was launched with a undercover spy Shooting Big Bird in the wing. Although failing to kill him, and being killed in the process only after taking out 5 bodyguards, it was a morale victory for the OSSG, and also led to the fear that gripped Sesame Street to diminish allowing the human residents to arm themselves and form the Sesame Street Militia.
Nonetheless the SSG made every attempt to maintain control of the street, but the group continued on underground in the nearby Sesame Street Station.
[edit] Prelude to Battle
The 26th saw the OSSG launch their attack, and they started to move out.They set off at 10:30PM,with the major players up front,and the lesser known ones staying back.
The movement was first noticed by the undercover guards of the gang on the outer borders of the territory, the guards being unnoticed due to the adoption of the 'Grouch Method', i.e. hiding in a bin or dumpster and watching out for enemies.
The leaders of the Gang were alarmed by this sudden change in events as they had learned that the SSM had decided to hold a meeting and it was the perfect time to wipe them out.
Big Bird contacted the allied gangs, and ordered them to come to the aid of the gang. The SSA arrived at 11:05PM, under strict orders to kill anyone that exited the subway station.
The commanders of the skirmishing groups were little known monsters known as Zoe and a character known as 'Forgetful' Jones, who was known for being a most unreliable witness. Nevertheless the skirmishers managed to delay the OSSG long enough for the leaders to prepare for battle.
[edit] The Battle of Sesame Street
The skirmishing stopped at 2:30 am a few blocks away from the street. The skirmishing groups made a defensive line outside a hotel known as 'The Furry Arms' on the end of the street, which is in reality a cul-de-sac.
Hidden from view were heavily fortified points which funnelled the enemy into. The Street was turned into a series of choke-points and killing fields.
The OSSG proceeded with caution when the skirmishing stopped, to the point where many were walking in a defensive formation. On seeing the line the men charged only to be met be a single volley and the skirmishers fleeing down the street. The first men to enter the opening of the street were met with a hail of bullets from the monsters and their allies.
[edit] Fighting at the Barricades
It was here that the fighting was bogged down, but the choice of one of the gangs to hold the fortifications, the largest group, yet sadly to be relegated to the history books as the redshirts, took many casualties rather quickly and those somehow surviving needing to be pulled back behind in safety. Another gang, who, like the redshirts will never be known by their proper name, but codenamed 'Niggas 4 Life', managed to pin down but not kill members of the OSSG. As the OSSG managed to overpower the defenders it was the 'Niggas' that bought time for the SSG and the SSA to reach the next set of defences.
When the barricades were finally breached at 4:01 am, many of the local gang members were cut down by Triads and Yakuza close combat members.
[edit] The End of the Sharks
The Second defensive line was strong, but not as strong as the previous one. It was located outside a shop called 'Finders Keepers'. Typically any gang warfare was held off on the first barricade, but it was not the case here. The second barricade was the same as the first, funnelling the enemy into a narrow point, but was also defended with razorwire . The Mafia and other gangs pinned down the defenders while the wires were dealt with allowing vehicles to enter without being damaged.
With the loss of the point imminent the Sharks made the decision to stay and hold the lines for as long as possible. While the others fell back to the final strongpoint the Sharks manned the line taking out as many of them as possible. This was the site of the most bloody fighting as when the line was breached the sharks used everything at their disposal to fight, guns, rocks, rubble, teeth, anything to fight off the enemy. At the end of the fighting it would be found that no members of the Sharks would remain.
[edit] The Last Line
The lower ranked monsters and several other local gangs held this line. It was the narrows outside Hoopers Store and 123 Sesame Street which opened out to the cul-de-sac. A semi-permanent structure in 'peacetime' it was the strongest, and most difficult to break in this war.
With the OSSG closing on the gang, the guard on the nearby station was tripled.
The monsters were fighting for their survival and they held no quarter, shooting even their own who were left outside when the gates were closed and were trying to get in. It was at this point that the vans that the OSSG used to transport their men in were put to good use. They were rigged to drive straight into the barricade the explosion taking out as many as possible. Even with this tactic clearing the remaining defenders was a struggle.
It was at this time, as the fighting was entering the cul-de-sac the SSM made an offensive on the entrance of the station. With only minor losses they took out the guards and moved out to the street and into the buildings.
[edit] The Final Showdown
The barricades were down and the first group through were the motorcycle guys. Their speed allowed them to inflict lots of damage without heavy losses it was soon found out that in the smaller space taking out one bike would cause a domino effect with many falling too.
'Snuffy' and the Cookie Monster were ordered to guard Big Bird while other monsters and SSA took positions in the surrounding buildings only to encounter the SSM.
Elmo and Grover fell outside the 'Mail-it Shop' leading an offensive against a OSSG formation, while the Grouch died when grenades were thrown into his underground lair and the bin that was the only entrance was blocked.
In the building to building fighting the Count made an appearance killing members of the SSM easily but was killed when one member picked up a loave of garlic and threw it at his face. The SSM then took firing places at the windows and fired indiscriminately.
The Cookie Monster and Snuffy attacked the OSSG members killing many of them. Cookie Monster ended up dying after taking 20 shots and two stabs before going down, while Snuffy was knocked out when a bike hit him.
Big Bird made his escape with Ernie and Bert covering him. They were later found riddled with bullet holes. The fate of Big Bird was unknown, in 2001, At 6:00 pm the guns fell silent. The SSM and the OSSG coming to terms.
[edit] The Aftermath
It was agreed upon that Sesame Street would not belong to any gang, and be under the hands of the SSM , which is considered by some to be a gang.
The fates of some were as follows:
- Snuffy dealt with a serious alchol problem.In 2000,he was found guilty of the murders of three 15 year-old girls,and was sentenced to 23 years behind bars in a maximum security prison.
- The Sharks were given a memorial at the site of the second barricade.
- Any surviving monsters were found. Those that gave up were gaoled, the others were shot.
- The Sesame Street Gang was destroyed and the remaining assets were given to the SSM.
- Big Bird moved to LA and mostly layed low,working with LA police to arrest gang bosses.In 2004,a little-known LA gang boss claimed that his 12 year-old son was kidnapped and raped by Big Bird,although most of his claimes were proved as false in the infamous 2006 trial.
- Kermit became a well known Jounalist,selling his story to well-known newspapers,before his death of a drug overdose in May 2007.
- The other gangs went home and the next day everything returned to normal.
[edit] See Also
