Bearchester
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| Official nickname | Rochester |
| Official languages | Bear, English, Cantonese |
| Established | 1983 |
| Re-Established | 1995 |
Bearchester, colloquially known as Rochester, is a city in the North-western part of New York. Bearchester was founded in 1983 after a group of circus bears escaped captivity in nearby Ithaca. These circus bears set up a progressive democratic government which promoted economic and social prosperity. Bearchester was hailed as the epitome of what a medium sized city should be, until the sad events of 1995. During routine exercises of the Bearchester Militia, a group of unsuspecting humans wandered into the mauling ranges at Fort Grizzly, and were killed semi-instantly. The US Military retaliated and destroyed the fledgling bear colony.
Bearchester's ruins have recently been inhabited by human squatters. The Bearchester Institute of Technology still operates to this day, although the recent loss of President Albert J. Simone has been quite a blow to the institute.
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[edit] Bear Fight Club
We don't talk about Bear Fight Club.
[edit] Kodiak Eastman
Bearchester's main industry comes from high-end optics companies, originally created by the founders of Bearchester. The foremost company, Kodiak Eastman, employs nearly half of Bearchester's citizens. While they have since lost the majority share holding in the company, Bears still own nearly 28% of the company's stock. The Bear-human corporate relations are tenuous at best, and major law suits have been brought against the humans for mismanagement of the company.
[edit] Bearchester Fast Ferry
In 2000, the Human government, which took over after 1995, invested a large amount of money in a project designed to encourage rapid transit between Bearchester and Toronto. The irony here is that no one would ever want to travel to either Bearchester or Toronto, producing a zero-customer base for the project. Despite this obvious lack of demand, the project continued to fruition. In 2005 the Fast Ferry was unveiled to a crowd of 4 dock workers who were told there would be free hot dogs. To their dismay, there were none. Instead, a large, ugly hunk of metal, representing a 15 million dollar investment, stared back at them.
The workers, infuriated at the lack of hot dogs, called their friends and began pillaging the ship. After a few hundred cases of Keystone, a few pounds of marijuana, and 4 hours had transpired, the ship and the harbor were in ruin. City officials blamed the Bears for the trouble, and initiated a city wide bear hunt. The resulting casualties numbered in the millions, and insurance claims were estimated in the unreasonable.
[edit] Bearchester Accent
Due to the high rate of Bear citizens, Bearchesterians have a profoundly different accent from American Standard. This accent is often described as annoying, unpleasing, and abrasive. It is characterized by the nasal pronunciation of vowels, such as the word 'car' being pronounced similar to an air-horn blast. This is widely assumed to be caused by a Bear's inability to vocalize vowels not consisting of "roar."
There is believed to be a child molester in Rochester, these suspicions were confirmed in the Limp Bizkit song 'Show Me What You Got' taken from the album Significant Other. A local man who wishes to remain un-named said "don't ever come here"
[edit] See Also
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