Beat 'em up

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"We're under siege down here" yelled the Police Chief. "I'm on it, sir" replied Rick, putting on his best orange jeans. It was time to clean up this city.

A beat 'em up, also known as a scrolling beat 'em up or "brawl-me-do", is a video game genre famed for its simplicity, violence and accurate depiction of postmodern urban society in America. Despite its enormous popularity during the early nineties, the genre has become less widely accepted, partly due to its own effects on the crime rate. Police forces around the world became conscious of the threat of spontaneous beat 'em uppery as depicted within the games, giving rise to 'beat 'em up orientated policing'. Ordinary citizens also became 'beat 'em up aware' during the peak of the genre's popularity, causing countless incidents of unmotivated face bashing, head smashing and snacking on of hamburgers hidden in conspicuous wooden crates.

[edit] Examples of beat 'em ups

• Double Dragon
• Final Fight
• Backstreet Brawler
• Streets of Rage
• Streets of Emo
• Streets of Non-complacency
• Streets of Streets
• Long Nondescript Street of Monotonous Pummeling of Generic Thugs (parts I, II, and III)
• Urban Surgin'
• Trouble in Warehouse City
• Al Gore's Super Global Warming Punch-'em-Out

[edit] Types of crime

According to beat 'em ups, there are three primary types of crime that call for spur-of-the-moment vigilante-ism.

• Kidnapping the mayor's daughter/hero's girlfriend.
• Pushing a brand new, highly addictive, easily recognisable (usually because it's glowing green) drug with a cool name like SKULL or NUKE.
• Planting bombs and holding the city to ransom.

Billy didn't really want to be there.

[edit] Beat 'em up characters

The heroes in a beat 'em up are a varied bunch, consisting of a slow, strong one, a fast, weak one and an average, average one. Names must have no more than two syllables and must be as manly as possible. Good examples would be Cody Lee, Mike Fist, Jimmy Kick or Guy Mann. The tough conditions on the mean streets (and limited memory on arcade machines) require a quick, powerful, ruthless name. A name you can terrify your foes with. A name like a switchblade. For example, "Switch Blade". The baddies are shaking in their boots already.

Even the homeless can be a force to reckon with, especially with their deadly crotch headbutts.

[edit] Beat `em up villains

Every beat `em up has to have at least some semblance of bad guys for the player to face. Basically, to save time, the head honchos that you face at the very end of the game hire twins and clones. You're going to see a lot of the same guy along the way. Course, you may occasionally encounter the different foe who is a little more unique than the clones. There are also really annoying big dudes who you face who won't let you progress until you kick his ass. Or you might just find a hobo or something. You know what, any person could be a boss, so just beat them up to make sure.

[edit] Power-Ups

In every beat-em-up, there are items to be found for you to pick up. No one will quite understand the logic of a beat-em-up villain; helpful(?) items such as freshly roasted whole chickens, barbecued meat, bags of money and gold bars are stuffed inside barrels or in stacks of tires... even phone booths. You might find yourself questioning whether or not it's a good idea to eat a perfectly good burger that fell out after kicking over the garbage can, or picking up the huge wad of dollar bills that was in another, but hey, one man's trash is another man's treasure!