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Outbreak of Beatlemania in March 1964.

What was it?[edit]

Beatlemania was in fact a war that lasted from 1963 to 1964 between John Lennon and Paul McCartney. It all started when Paul decided his music was way better than John's (which was probably false). John soon gathered an army of Japanese mercenaries. However, Paul, who was already well defended by a force of fans, managed to fight them off. John retaliated along side George Harrison, who was leading a pack of Hindus mounted on cattle. Paul, realizing he was outnumbered and outmatched, called upon the aid of Ringo Starr. Ringo, not much of a fighter, decided to summon the help of Col. Cauliflower and his squad of guerilla platypus soldiers. After doing so, Ringo fled and took up residence in a garbage dumpster.

In The End[edit]

Beatlemania reached it's peak in 1964 when it was pointed out that both made amazing music. Rather than continue fighting, they signed The Epstein Treaty. Any witnesses of Beatlemania who did not actually participate were hunted down and killed by Col. Cauliflower. For more information on the units used, see below.

Units used[edit]

Paul's fans, shortly before their demise.

The following content is information on the participants of Beatlemania.

Japanese mercenaries[edit]

John's army was made completely of them, most of them friends and relatives of Yoko Ono.

Paul's fans[edit]

They were what they were called; Paul's fans. Most of them were killed after they peed themselves screaming his name rather than listening to the music.

George's cavalry[edit]

These deadly warriors imported from Bangladesh were mounted upon mystical cows and carried scimitars. They were wiped out and cremated. Their ashes current whereabouts are unknown.

Platypus soldiers[edit]

Although not actually platypuses, these men wore platypus costumes, as they were at one point The Platypus People at a failed theme park. They became assassins for a living. Col. Cauliflower also wore a platypus costume, but was distinguished by a Soviet fur cap. The soldiers numbers counted eight, including Cauliflower. Originally hired by Ringo to assassinate Pete Best, they were used in Beatlemania instead. They were pummeled in Beatlemania and were forced to take refuge in Ringo's dumpster.

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The Beatles
John Lennon | Paul McCartney | Pete Best | George Harrison | Ringo Starr | The Fifth Beatle | Yoko Ono
Thank Thank You (1962) | A Hard Gay's Night (1964) | Beatles For Sail (1964) | Hell! (1965) | Revolter (1966) | Revolver (1966) | Sgt. Lt. Pepper's Only Lonely Hearts Club Bandana (1967) | Ringo Needs Some Money (1967) | Tragical Mystery Tour (1967) | The White Album (1968) | Yellow Sub Machine (1969) | Crabby Road (1969) | Let It Be (1970) | The Beatles: Ecological Number Ones (1968) | Hate (2006)
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