Beaver Cleavage

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search

Beaver Cleavage was a famous professional wrestling porno star of the World Wildlife Wrestling Foundation Federation WWF in the 1980's who rose to fame after his lead role in the gay hit sit-com "Leave it, it's beaver" where he clobbered Pandas over the heads with steel chairs, planted a tree inside there ass' then raped them in the shade. The Beaver, or The Beave as he liked to be called for short, even tho it en-tales the drop of one letter to the name, become an international name amongst the WWF Superstars as one of the most chara-spastic wrestlers in professional sports entertainment history.

Beaver In The Ring[edit]

The Beave looked like a 6'3 monkeys ass in the face, and a 12 pound rhinos ballsack for his body followed by a pair of buffaloes anus holes as his legs. However these down-falls where looked over because his breasts resembled, what would be called today, "Camel Toe". His chest was his greatest feature and in his skimpy little bikinis he would distract opponents with a "Cleavage Shake", where he jiggled what his momma gave him, and would distract many opponents long enough to gain a victory.

His Beavage Cleavage however did not always work. As he was put out of commission for 9 months after Andre The Giant Cock, got so turned on he titty-fucked The Beave for over 12 minutes of brutal carnage at BummerSlam '86'. The Beave would sidelined and needed Beaver reconstruction to his lower half nipple tissue. Once The Beave returned he challenged Andre to a rematch and the results where devastating as Andre again got horny, this time sidelining Beave for 16 months when Andre broke into one of Beave's humongous 36DD breasts and tore it a new beaver hole.

Come Back Cleavage[edit]

Beave returned to the ring at WrestleFakia 101 as a last minute entry to the Royal Fumble. Beave entered the contest at number 69 and lasted 12 seconds before Andre turned around to see his beloved Cleavage, and The Beave jumped over the rope and eliminated himself as he ran back to the locker room with a horny giant on his ass. Beave would return to regular action and begin a feud against "Pussy Ballsack". There rivalry lasted over 6 months, going cameltoe to cameltoe with each other. The Beave would be triumphant during there final battle at the 1991 MacGyver Series when Beave and his 3 team-mates; Cuntous-Tittis, Breaticles & Front-Butt defeated Pussy Ballsack, Cock-Face, Scrotum-Piles and Herpes The Love Bug in an epic battle of showmentit and bra-very.

Beaver VS A Giant Cock[edit]

Andre was getting riled up about Beaver not being around when he needed it. Andre interfered in one of Beaves matches, then the giant proceeded to beat the fuck out of the Beaver until the Beaver was all tore up and bleeding. It was one of the most bloodiest aftermaths in Beavers history. Audiences including children where horrified at how badly the Giant had beaten up the Beaver. The Beaver just lay in the ring convulsing for air. The Beave was dragged out of the ring by Andre's finger and was about to receive another pummeling when Hulk Hogan ran down to ringside to stop the Giant Cock from doing more damage to the Beaver. Hulkster body-slammed a fully grown Elephant onto Andre and Hulk helped Beave up and they celebrated by flexing there muscles for the crowed for 15 hours.

The fweek later, Hulk and Beave where teamed up to take on Andre The Giant Cock and the Million Dollar Man, Ted DickCheeseWusabi at the live house show taping of WWF IN YOUR ASS. The two teams squared off with Andre first taking it to Hulkster before The Giant Cock turned it's sights on the Cleavage. Hulk stopped Andre from getting near the Beaver but soon Andre lured Hulkster to the corner of the ring where his partner was who reached into his underwear, scratched up some Crabs and Lice and threw it into Hulksters face, blinding him momentarily, with Hulkster now out of the way, DickCheeseWusabi & The Giant Cock went to work double teaming the Beaver. They would pull off some excellent two man manoeuvrings around the Beaver, the Beaver started to bleed, but this didn't stop the Giant Cock from pummeling more out on the Cleavage.

The crowed chanted for Hulkster to "get the fuck up, get the fuck up, get the fuck up". Hulkster staggered blindly to find something to wash his eyes out with, he found The Beavers drink bottle of juice and poured the Beaver juice all over his face. Now Hulk could see clearly again, and it was time to save The Beaver from the double team attack by Ted and the Giant Cock.

Hulk dashed into the ring, and punched up Ted and The Giant Cock, as he had done many times before, he whipped Ted over the ropes, then was clobbered on the back by the Giant Cock, Hulk didn't go down tho, he just turned around with wide eyes and pointed at the Giant Cock, the Giant cock took a swing at Hogan, but Hogan counted the cock with his 24 inch-python, repeated it again, and again then punched the Giant Cock in the head, then as the Giant Cock looked dazed, hogan whipped the Giant Cock into the rope, when he bounced back he dropped him to the floor with a big boot, said a prayer, ate some steroids, then Hulk ran into the ropes, ran back and let go a rip-roaring fart so powerful it elevated him off the ground 5 feet into the air, when the fart stopped, Hogan came crashing back down with his leg over Andres chest and then went and quickly grabbed Cleavage to cover the Giant Cock for the 3-Count and win!


The Beaver just got old after a while, The Cleavage's body sagged, and he couldn't keep up with the new guys coming in, so the Beaver hung up his boots on his rack, handed back the WWF prescriptions for steroids, and retired to the lovely town of Dildo, Newfoundland where Beaver enjoys taking in the town life.

For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Beaver Cleavage.