Beercan

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The "beercan" is a recent trend popularized in the "bear" faction of the homosexual community.

Contents

[edit] What Is A Beercan?

"Beercan refers literally to the method with which practicing bears attract mates (or one-time sexual partners within the secure confines of a public restroom). A practitioner uses an aluminum can to "train" their sphincter - often keeping the object in place for hours while working in the cubicle next to you. The result of this strenuous exercise is "The Beercan" - a perfectly rounded, permanently open rectum. This name appears to be a reference to both the method and the body part modified, as the human rump is often referred to in slang as a "can".

[edit] Beercan Culture

Members of the beercan community have diverse methods of communicating silently. It is common practice for these individuals to carry an actual beer can with them in public - a signal that they support the cause. "Papa bears" recruit attractive "cubs" by hanging a can from a string, which is then suspended by the rear fender of their hatchback car. Even while exploring the information superhighway, pictures of beer cans are often used as avatar imagery.

As of late, beercan bears are being more widely accepted by the pop culture mainstream. Indeed, having a "beercan" is becoming normal behavior for young bears, similar to the piercings and tattoos common among over-achievers.

[edit] Beercans in the News

Recently under-fire Idahoana senator Larry Craig has launched a pre-emptive statement to deny any involvement on his part in the beercan community.

"I am not a bear, I do not have a beercan, nor have I ever had a beercan," Craig was quoted as saying, gesturing angrily with his free hand (the other was clutching a Coors Lite can). "If I ever, hypothetically, cruised for beercans, I certainly would not do it in Idaho. That's just tacky."

[edit] The Future of Beercans

Beercanning's prospects are bright. Mmm. That's all, really.

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