The town of Beiruth is in the Ducky of Cornwall, next door to Camborne Vasey. Known for its peace and tranquillity, only slightly marred by the screams and sirens.
It has history. This is kept in Murdoch house to stop it getting nicked by the kids from the comprehensive.
Since Cornwall nicked the joke about the petri dish, its best to say there is something approximating to "singing". Mostly heard on Saturday night, the main chorus goes "aaarghnogerrofpleasenononononopleasestop!Helpsomeonetheyrekillingme!". As the astute will have guessed, the main sport is wrestling.
The local dialect is a variant of Cornish language which is here supplemented by expletives. These are best expressed out of the side of the mouth, from the other side to the one which holds the sagging ciggarette but.
Someone in Beiruth has a job. This person has never been seen, and is believed to spend their spare time shaking in their cellar in case they are found out.
Beiruth is ruled by the Cornish National Liberation Army who have jolly scrapes with the army.
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This page will be re-checked on 18:05, 25 January 2011