Belinda Stronach
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“Belinda Stronach is a Social Democrat :).”
~ Oscar Wilde on Belinda Stronach
“Belinda Stronach is a dog. I should know.”
~ Peter MacKay on Belinda Stronach
“The woman never had a conservative bone in her body. Well, maybe one.”
~ Ralph Klein on Belinda Stronach
“She has only one boob! lol! Take that!”
~ Peter MacKay on breast cancer
Belinda Caroline Stronach used to be a cabinet minister in the backwater nation of Canada, until she got kicked out of office for rooting on the boardroom table. She currently serves as the Critic of Photo Ops and the Critic of Screwing Bill Clinton. She formerly was Peter Mackay's "sex object".
Belinda was last seen on November 16, 2006, But, unfortunately she was found alive and well sometime around April, 2007. Her hair is still blond. But she is not seeking re-election and she is going back to Magnamonolith. Roomers say that they seen Belinda at a Liberal function when she was going to vote yes for the One-member-one-vote system. She was shaved out of the way by a brunette look a like.
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[edit] Background
A self acclaimed and internationally renowned Eurotrash, Belinda Stronach found her way to North America and into Canada.
Belinda is reported by the Canadian media to be the daughter of multi-millionaire conman-pimp (kind of bloke that would sell a rats asshole to a blind man for a wedding ring) and car parts baron Frank Stronach, but scientists now believe that she was actually an unwanted by-product of a chemical experiment gone wrong, thus explaining her rather odd facial shape and overly large vagina, this could be be man made though.
In any case, Belinda was a particularly bright child, learning the facts of life at a very young age and putting them to good use for financial gain. She also showed an affinity for business (mostly brothels and massage parlors) and economics . Belinda attended York University, but quit after one year.
Belinda, fresh out of York University, then pursued another source - managing her father's company and cozying up to Canadian Alliance leader (and, it should be noted, an active disciple of Satan) Stephen Harper and REALLY cozying up to Progressive Conservative leader Peter Mackay in the hopes of forming a united Group Sex Conservative Party. However the party would not allow her to have group sex with more that five men at a time. This was due to her radical way of taking a penis up the ass, vagina and mouth at the same time. I am actually cracking a fat whilst typing this, I actually want to fuck her right now. She had many socialist ideals and had not a conservative bone in her body. One of the many lucky men who got to seduce her was Peter McKay, a well hung man of over eight inches in length and three large fingers in width.
[edit] To Become Leader! Or whatever is most convenient ...
Belinda Stronach, not deterred in the slightest by her lack of vaginal tightness or any real policies, political experience, or even semblance of having a clue, announced her candidacy for leader of the "Group Sex Conservative Party" in 2003. She was endorsed by former Prime-Minister (with whom she had a foursome, "two men and a donkey" and is more recently known as a miserable has-been) Brian Mulroney. She received votes from those who were apparently so afraid of Stephen Harper that they'd rather have a left-wing CEO leading them. There's still no sign on how fellow leadership rival Tony Clement received any votes at all, though. Maybe some women thought he was sexy and wanted a rumpy pumpy.
Belinda was defeated (out gangbanged) in the leadership, but ran and was elected for the Conservatives in 2004. She ran to the left of her Liberal candidate, which she came under flack for somewhat when she ended up joining the Liberals in early 2005, in which Prime Minister Paul Martin got his end in [her] and rewarded her with several cabinet posts, a long hot rod and a ball of red yarn (It was reported by Ottawa insiders that she sent the ball of red yarn to her mom back in the riding of Newmarket-Aurora).
[edit] Belinda: The Later, Still Pretty Damn Rich Years
Belinda Stronach, like any reputable politician, spends most of her time cavorting about Ottawa, and spending millions of dollars on stylish pant suits that she purchases from around the world ...for reasons known by few.
Belinda, having already with Peter Mackay (Come on, you know they did it), proceeded to steal his wallet when he couldn't pay.
She's was with Tie Domi, imagine that! What a whore!
Recent polls show that she is seen by the Canadian public as the most dominant Social Democratic MP in Canada within the Liberals.
[edit] Trivia
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| Articles About Feminine Issues |
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- She has made several television appearances poking fun at herself...for some reason. This includes appearances on the CBC television comedy This Hour Has 22 Minutes and a skate on the Rideau Canal with Rick Mercer for his series Rick Mercer Report. She also played a political reporter in the television mini-series H2O:The Last Prime Minister.
- She's also in talks to have actress Reese Witherspoon play her in the upcoming film Legally blond 3: Politicians in Pink.
- She once walked across a lake to heal an injured swan, but fell in.
- She is a recovering kitten-huffing addict.
- She has repeatedly tried to expose rampant transsexualism in the Conservative Party, and is noted for her particular disdain for Rona Ambrose.
- She has recently been spotted at a Left-wing relay.
- She supports woman to start voting at 16, and not men. They would have to wait till they were 30 if her bill passed. Belinda says that this is the real way to a Canadian democracy, only woman voting.
- And lets not forget that her initials are B.S.
[edit] External links
| Preceded by: Electoral district created | Member of Parliament from Newmarket-Aurora 2004-present | Succeeded by: Incumbent |
| 27th Ministry - Government of Paul Martin | ||
| Cabinet Posts (1) | ||
| Preceded by: Scott Brison | Minister of Switching Parties out of the Middle of Nowhere (2005) | Succeeded by: David Emerson |
| Special Cabinet Responsibilities | ||
| Preceded by: nobody | Minister responsible for MILFs (2004-2006) | Succeeded by: (nobody) |
