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For those without comedic tastes, the "questionable parody" of this website called Wikipedia think they have an article about Bengal.


Cucatta (kolkota) is not merely a city or a place on the earth. Its a way of life! Its a philosophy. Its often believed to be a branch of heaven on the earth established by goddess 'Kali mO'.

People there speak the language called Bengali. Bengali (bangla(bongla(bongolo(bOngOlO))))).. Bengali is the best language in the whole universe. Best literature.. sweetest of all..


Write the word BENGALI on a paper.


Ants would have already attacked the paper. (this technique is really helps people to make out the bonglo script)

Some modest facts[edit]

1. God wrote his laws in bengali. (its a serious misconception that 'nature speaks mathematics'). Even if nature does so.. that's because it "couldn't" learn bengali.

2. Bhagavat geeta(bhOgObhOt geetO), ramayana(rOmOyOnO), and all kinds of great epics from India were all written in bengali.

3. Almost all vedas are written in this sweetest language.

4. Bengali literature has nothing to do with western influence. The belief is utter crap. ALL famous bengali writings were done even before British came to India. All famous writers knew that British would come soon and there wont be time to write literature.

5. There are many dialects that are derived (rather copied) from bengali. examples: Sanskrit, Hindi, marathi, urdu, arabic, english, french, hebru, russian, german, american, canadian, gangulian.. and all dravidian, manglodian languages.

6. A professor from kolkoto pesidency did some serious research on the subject and concluded that "Bongolo is a natural language! It's been there since human race started being. All other natural languages disappeared because they couldn't 'revolt'. Bengali human ancestors (monkeys in those days..) fought against all influences like the way our grand fathers fought against The British.."

7. God is a bengali.

8. Ganguly (The only crickter) is a bengali.

9. All bollywood bitches are bengalis.

10. Number ten is itself is Bengali, since it has 'O' in it. (1'O')


It has a lot of history. Like some billion years of history. In fact the glory of Bengal has started declining after the British. Goddamn British came to India, otherwise Bengal would have been even more famous all over the universe. Infact bangalis had least dealings with the British during their rule in India. Bengalis were never bothered by them. When benaglis saw a white english man for the first time, immediately they started revolting for independence (sworajjo)! So the British then thought of a method called "invisible paint method". That is, they invented a paint which makes things invisible. So all the British used to apply it all over their body. All British buildings were painted with the paint. Bengalis who were busy making rossogullos couldn't notice the expanding and strengthening british empire. But one day, by mistake, one british fellow forgot to apply the paint and came out of his invisible house. He got noticed by a small bengali kid playing on the street. That's the BEGINNING!!! Bengal Revolution (meaninglessly called 'freedom struggle in India') ensued!! Immediately all Bengalis 'gave their blood'! India got independence.

Bengalis are very intelligent people. They are intellectually far more advanced than anyother race in the world. The reason behind all this greatness is that bengalis can learn Bengali so easily. They are all blessed with mental maturity to appreciate the 'sweetness' of bOngLO right from their childhood.

Bengali film industry is the best. There are numerous internationally renowned directors like sattojit ray, ray jitsath, sathray jith, jith jith sattho,shotthoray jittho and all other combinations. Bengalis preserve their legend by not even watching the movies by these great directors. They take care of the photo reels so much.

All names in the world are derived from bengali!! Breaking the 'Bengal Code' is not so trivial. They are all very deep and philosophical. Even native bengalis dont know about this. But it is always believed and argued that the 'bengal code' is the toughest of all. Years of research revealed the following results Mukherjee=Mukhopadyay (mukkopaddo) Banerji=Bandopadyay (bandopaddo) Chatterji=Chattopadyay (chattopaddo) Ray=Roy (rO) Upperji=Upadyay (uppoddo)

Culture Of Pure Science:[edit]

Science = bOnglO..!! (many assholic dictonaries dont know this fact) They all get nobel prizes trivially. They dont need idols. They worship happily. They are good at college politics. They like roSSoguLLos, and they dont wear shirts. They are all natural scientists with lots of intuition. Not much surprisingly Meghnadsaha the only physicist from eurasia is from BengOl.

Sexual Orientation[edit]


Bengalis have a nice heart. They like everyone. They never comment on any other culture. They show utmost respect for everything. Gandhi loved Bengal! Robert Williams loved Bengal! Mustafa Shakespear loved Bengal! Chappel loved Bengal! and Ganguly too!

They stopped watching cricket when Ganguly wasn't there in the team because they didn't have anything else about cricket to blabber upon.

== See also ==

Indian cities